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What are the most effective steps to how to stop worrying and start living? How not to worry?

Are you worried about various issues like, your job, money, health, children, aged-parents and feel negatively affected? Here, you can find solutions to these problems in a step-by-step manner as detailed below. These steps are practical and simple keys to how to stop worrying and start living. 

Sort out your worries

The first step to how to not worry is to sort out your worries just as the post office does. In the post office, they have cubby holes for sorting mail; mail for Nadiad, mail for Surat, mail for the office etc. Likewise, place your worries in appropriate boxes, the box to do with business, the box to do with society, the box to do with the office etc., and then be at ease. When you sort out your worries (preferably by writing them down), things become more tangible. We will come back to these boxes in a bit.

Positive attitude (Count your blessings)

Take one problem at a time. Let us say, you have lost your job. You start worrying and find life to be cumbersome. However, you should look at the positive side of life, because positivity decreases the intensity of the problem at hand. If you lose your job, you should be pleased that you have some savings in the bank, and if you do not have any, then you should be happy that your family is there with you. You have food, clothes, shelter and all the necessities. When you are positive, and take this kind of comfort and support, your mind is more stable and therefore your problem solving capacity enhances.

Erase the negativity

Suppose you lost your job, then you would have various negative thoughts going on in your mind. You may find your boss, colleague, friend or a family member responsible. This negativity can lead to the obstruction of solutions from arising in your mind.

If you find negative aspects of a situation or a person to be the cause of your worries, follow the steps below to erase the negativity and fit in positivity instead:

  1. Write down all the negative points on one half of a page (vertical half).
  2. For each negative point, write at least two positive aspects, on the other half of the page. (A coin has two sides, we were on the negative side in the above step, now look at the positive side.)

Now look at both the lists. To your surprise, you will realize that some of the points that you first had on the negative list have in fact turned out to be positive. In the end, your positive list outnumbers the negative one.

Only a few things repeatedly bother us and are the cause of chaos in our mind. This results in small worries feeling as if they are very big. The above steps help to curtail the needless turmoil and therefore we can focus on finding solutions to fix the problem at hand.

Work for the solution

Now, take up each point from the worry boxes in step 1 and try to find solutions. We may need to put in tremendous effort to accomplish the difficult task. Find out what efforts need to be put in from your side, what help you can solicit from outside, what are the things that can be compromised upon to reach a peaceful and successful solution, and so on.

The above steps to how to stop worrying and start living will solve some of the worries you had. However, some anguish may not have direct solutions. For the situations which are not in our control, follow the below steps to be worry-free and to expect the maximum possible positive outcome.

1) Understand the truth

There is no need to worry about anything in this world. Everything will open up to this life as a result of the seeds sown in the past life. For example, does anybody plan or wish to incur a loss in their business? Still, losses occur. Similarly, there is no need to worry about making a profit. It will happen if your merit karmas come into fruition. Nothing in this world can take place unless the timing is right, that is how precise the world is. That is not to say, that you do not make an effort to do anything. You have to put in the effort, but you do not have to worry about the results. If you have an exam you have to study for it the best you can, but you should not lose sleep worrying about the results.

2) Be cheerful

There is nothing to cry over in this world. If your karmic account has a negative balance and if you add more negativity by complaining and non-acceptance, the magnitude of the negative balance increases. But if you add positivity by accepting what has come your way with a cheerful attitude, the negative balance can turn into a positive balance. Wherever you have to suffer pain or grief, instead of multiplying it by worrying, if you divide it with a smile, there will be nothing left over in that account.

3) Observe the thoughts, do not accept them

To think is the nature of the mind. To hear is the nature of the ears. You may decide that you do not want to listen to those who insult you or curse you, but it is the nature of the ears to hear, and so they will not refrain from hearing. Similarly, it is even in the nature of the mind to have thoughts that you do not like. That is the mind’s nature. Thoughts are objects to be known, and You are the Knower. Therefore, you have to keep ‘knowing’ all thoughts that come to you; you have to continue to inspect them. You should not have any opinions about whether they are good or bad. Regardless of the kind of thoughts you have; no matter how bad they are; there is no problem with them. With whatever inner intent they were bound in your past life, is how they will discharge; You simply have to ‘see’ them discharge and ‘know’ the kind of binding that had happened, the discharge of which is taking place now. This is perhaps the most practical step for how to stop worrying and start living.

4) Living in the present is the right thing

When the time is right, all the evidences required for a piece of work to be completed will come together. The past is gone, so why dig into it? The future is yet to happen. So live in the present and attend to the present time.

Living in present means to do the task and concentrate on it. By doing this, worries will not be generated automatically. To be in the present means that when you are writing the accounts, your full concentration is in it and accuracy is maintained. It is when the mind roams into the future that errors will occur in your accounting. Those who live in the present do not make a single mistake, and they have no worries.

The above steps help you to remain in equanimity and be calm. When worries go away, it is called samadhi (One-ness with the Pure-self; Undisturbed by any external non-self reaction). After this, you can do a lot more work efficiently than before because the entanglement is no longer there. As soon as you go to the office, you can start working. There will be no thoughts about home, no external thoughts bothering you. Therefore, you will give your full concentration to the work at hand.

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