How to Control Anger: Techniques for Managing Anger Issues

When it comes to managing anger issues, people usually say, ‘Don’t get angry’, ‘Stop getting angry’, ‘Control the anger’. But how can anger stop just like that? Anger is a result, an effect! Effects are a result of the causes made. By suppressing anger, once or twice it may seem to have calmed down, but then, just like a spring springs back with force, similarly anger flares up with double the intensity. So, if we stop the causes of anger, then the anger will stop!

Anger is a weakness. When does anger come? Generally, when someone does not understand us, when the difference of viewpoints arises, when things happen contrary to our expectations, when what we do not like happens, some loss happens, someone insults us, false accusations are made, that is when we get angry. Many a times we cannot see what is ahead, we do not understand what to do next, at that time also we get angry. When anger arises within only, even then it creates a lot of suffering inside; and when knowingly or unknowingly, we get angry at someone, we are causing extreme pain to that person. What should be the limit of this anger? Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says that our anger should not hurt the other person, that is the limit of anger. Our anger gives pain to us alone; it does not hurt anyone else—that much anger is tolerable.

Problems keep arising because of husband-wife, parents-children, boss-employees not being able to understand each other. In every relationship, we feel the other person is doing wrong, and therefore we attempt to correct them by scolding them, by getting angry. As a result, arguments, clashes and disagreements increase. This ends up in we not speaking to each other, so despite living under the same roof, the two do not talk to each other. Sometimes, the rift in the relationship gets mended; whereas sometimes it does not get resolved through the entire life. The latter happens if no significant effort is taken for managing anger issues.

Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says that, “Today itself, the anger will not stop. One has to recognize anger, what is anger? How does it arise? How can one stop anger just like that?” Here, through practical examples, we get a detailed understanding of anger, its nature, its causes, the harm it causes and the remedies to come out of it. With this understanding, we get the precise keys or ways to manage anger not by controlling anger from the outside, rather by making changes within.

Do You Often Struggle to Control Your Anger?

We get irritated and frustrated in certain situations because we don’t know how to deal with anger. So, how to resolve anger and manage frustration?

Spiritual Quotes

Anger is like ammunition and wherever there is ammunition, there is an army ready to fight.
It is when people cannot think clearly that they get angry. Would they get angry if they were able to think? How are you rewarded when you get angry? First the sparks set you on fire and then you burn others.
Anger is the worst weakness of all. You should be sympathetic towards the person who becomes angry and understand that he does not have any control in this matter.
It is not just the anger that is expressed outwardly that constitutes anger, but also the smoldering one feels within.
Tolerance is really twice the anger. Tolerance means to suppress continually. One will realize this when the spring of coil suppressed anger rebounds one day.
When a man becomes emotional, so many living organisms within him are killed. The moment anger arises, millions of lives are destroyed, but even then people maintain that they practice non-violence (ahinsa or ahimsa).
Trying to find a solution to stop the anger is foolishness because anger is a result. It is just like the results of an examination. The result cannot be changed. It is the cause which one needs to change.
Anger can only dissolve if one understands that those who do wrong by him are merely his nimits, (people instrumental in delivering the effects of his past karma) and that what he is experiencing is the result of his karmas from his previous life.
People are more fearful of those who do not get angry as opposed to those who do. Why is that so? It is because one develops inner strength when anger ceases. This is the law of nature.
Now if neither the intent to hurt nor the lingering of annoyance were present in the anger, one would attain liberation.
Getting angry means setting fire to your own wealth.
Anger cannot depart by continually repressing it. Anger has to be recognized. Anger is ego. One should analyze which type of ego is giving rise to anger. If anger arises on account of the cups being shattered, then the ego of profit and loss is at work. Hence, the ego has to be uprooted after carefully thinking on it.
What is referred to as anger (krodh)? That which has a violent intent (himsak bhaav) and a lingering link (tanto) behind it. There is one exception to this. When parents become angry with their own children, there is no violent intent behind that, there is only a lingering link. That is why they bind merit karma.
There is not a single place in this world where it is necessary to get angry. To get angry is the equivalent of banging one’s head against a wall. One gets angry due to lack of understanding.
The whole world dislikes kashays (inner weakness of anger-pride-deceit-greed) and yet, all the kashays of the world are done willfully. One doesn’t like to be angry and yet he claims anger is necessary.
Lingering link (tanto) is an attribute of the ego, and violent intent is an attribute of anger.

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