You must be facing a lot of conflicts in your life daily, for example:
And that might be the very reason you are here, in search of a solution on how to live a conflict free life.
Unwillingness to accept the other person’s viewpoint or belief triggers a clash, and these clashes going ahead result into a conflict in our relationship.
“Avoid clashes.” - If you absorb just this one sentence of Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan exactly as it is, your work will be done! All that is needed is your strong and sincere willingness. Within you there are infinite energies to resolve all kinds of conflicts, no matter how severe they may be.
Your strong resolve and the power of these words will do all the work. Make a firm resolution ‘I will not clash with him or her at any cost, no matter how persistent the opponent is.’
When people obey the traffic laws there is no difficulty in the way traffic runs, right? Likewise, in your daily life if you follow the laws of nature correctly, you will prevent clashes and live a conflict free life. But problems arise because of your limited interpretations of the laws of life. Clashes occur when you follow your own laws and interpretations and do not know any conflict resolution methods.
Say, you step off a train and look for someone to help you with your bags. Few porters come running towards you and you tell one of them to pick your luggage. He hauls the luggage outside but at the time of payment, you find yourself quarrelling with him, “How dare you ask me for so much money?” People have a habit of clashing with each other all the time. Do not get into a dispute over such matters. If he asks for two hundred fifty rupees, try and negotiate gently.
“Listen brother, really this is only worth one hundred rupees but take this - two hundred rupees!” You should give in, with few rupees here and there and settle the matter. This is no place to clash. If your opponent is weak, he may let go and suffer because of his or her weakness, but he will harbor an inner grudge against you. This grudge may plant a seed of revenge, which will be expressed in your next life. Every human being, in fact every living creature, is capable of harboring revenge.
On the other hand, when someone comes to you and starts using harsh and abusive words, be alert and avoid clashing with that person too. You will sense displeasure within which may bother you. So, you must realize that this person is affecting your mind and accordingly, you must move out of his way. This conflict is in the form of vibrations. Therefore, avoid clashes.
Regardless of whether a person talks too much or too harsh, his words should not ignite a clash within you. To follow this principle is your religion. Words do not lay a precondition that they will cause a clash. You should learn to push aside the words that annoy you and forget about them. He that can do so deserves to be called a human.
And you annoying someone through your words to pacify your own ego is the biggest offence of all. Never do that.
As your understanding grows, you will be able to avoid clashes.
Once you analyze clashes to this depth, then you will understand why they are occurring. Thereafter, if you find yourself in that type of situation again, then you will know exactly what not to do in order to avoid the clash. Subsequently, all that remains is to keep the firm determination that you do not want to get into clashes and then you will be able to do it i.e. be successful at it. It may not happen instantly, but you will definitely see the results in the future.
Say you repeatedly get into clashes with one individual. You should avoid talking negatively about that person, at all costs. If you talk negatively about them, even in their absence those negative vibrations reach them and it will make the situation worse.
If the other person does not budge, and you become very frustrated with them, the key if not to let go of the work at hand, because it will keep bothering you and the same situation will arise again and again. The trick is to pray for that person. You pray that, ‘May they get the right understanding and right vision and that they do not get stuck in negativity.’ By doing this your positive vibrations will reach them, causing the situation to settle down steadily. Your negative intellect will also start to dissolve and your intentions for that person will not spoil. This will benefit you in the end.
If you find yourself in a situation where you have already come into a clash, then you ask for forgiveness by doing pratikraman. This is the ultimate key to avoid clashes in the future. You can get the detailed understanding of how to do pratikraman and how it will help to avoid clashes here.
People that are civilized do not fight. They always manage to sleep peacefully without bickering. It is the uncivilized ones who argue and fight relentlessly with each other.