What should we do to avoid a conflict situation if someone comes to pick a fight? Say one is very careful and aware, and the other is bent on fighting, is conflict not inevitable?
How long can a person fight with a wall? If you were to run into a wall, what should you do to it? Should you fight with it? Similarly, those with whom you come into conflict are walls. What should you do in that situation? Recognize and accept they are walls. Then there will be no problems.
If someone comes to clash with you on purpose, try your best to avoid clash.
When you cross a busy road, how cautious you are to avoid accidents. Exercise similar caution in your daily life interactions with others. And if you get caught into a clash accidentally or unintentionally, solve the situation with poise and then walk away without creating any hostility with anyone.
Say you are walking on the road and you see a lamppost right before you. Would you go and collide into it? No, you would change your path and walk around it, right? And if you see a bull come running towards you…? You would again change your path and move out of its way, isn’t it? And what if you see a snake or a huge rock on your path? You would instinctively change your path, wouldn’t you?
Now, why did you do that? To avoid a collision ‘for your own well-being’…
Because you know that if you clash with either of these, you will get hurt and will seriously injure yourself! Here, you very well understand the risk of damage that can be caused to you.
However, you fail to realize the fatal consequences of engaging into a clash with people. Oh, this is even more serious and the damage it causes is many times more than what you can envisage.
So, try and find a way out without clashing with anyone. If someone tries to provoke you, restrain yourself. Make a smooth exit without creating friction with him / her. It is in our own interest to avoid conflict situations. Avoid clashes at any cost, and try to resolve the conflict.
Questioner : What should we do when we don’t want to start any fights or arguments at all, but others in the house start them daily?
Dadashri : You should become ‘fight-proof’. If you become ‘fight-proof’ then you will be able to live in this world peacefully. I will make you ‘fight-proof.’ You should become so fight-proof that even the person that comes to fight with you gets tired and gives up. No one in this world can depress you. You have to become that way. If you become fight-proof, then there are no problems. If others want to fight or swear at you, even then there will be no objection or reaction. No one will call you indifferent for being that way. On the contrary, your internal awareness of Gnan (jagruti) will increase.
“Within you there are infinite energies to resolve all kinds of conflicts, no matter how severe they may be.”
In order to become fight-proof you need to attain the knowledge of the Self. With this right understanding of the Self, no circumstance or event can affect you.
There is no law anywhere that says you have to clash with the other person if they say bad words or abuse you or come to clash with you.