There are numerous solutions on how to deal with conflicts in life, however the ultimate conflict resolution strategy and a key to attain peace in life after a conflict has occurred is, pratikraman (asking for forgiveness).
A baby struggles to walk day-in-day out, without a preconditioned mind that, ‘I have already tried hundreds of times but I have not succeeded,’ they just keep at it. Eventually they learn how to walk on their own. In the same way, every time you come into a conflict you have to do pratikraman. You should not become disheartened that, ‘I have already asked for forgiveness, why am I still getting into clashes?’ With this constant effort, your life will become conflict-free one day.
Each morning you should decide, “I shall not come into conflict with anyone throughout the day.” Your resolve should always be, ‘I do not want to come into conflict with anyone, no matter what the situation is.’
Yet, if at times you do get into friction (atikraman), then you can erase the consequences by doing pratikraman (asking for forgiveness sincerely). Doing pratikraman, your faults will be erased and the friction shall end. Otherwise, there are grave consequences. If you clash, you MUST do pratikraman.
Following is the technique to do pratikraman:
Recall the pure Soul within the person you have conflict with, and ask for forgiveness.
“Dear Lord within ……! I ask for forgiveness for the mistake I did by raising my voice against you. Please forgive me. And today I make a strong resolution to not repeat this mistake again, so please give me the energy (shakti) to do so.”
Through your pratikraman, not only will you improve your own intention (bhaav), but it will also positively influence the other person’s intention and attitude towards you.
The vibrations immediately reach the other person and they are effective in giving him peace of mind. It brings forth amazing results. After all it is a scientific thing!
If the other person multiplies karmic account, then you should divide it, so that no balance remains. To think negatively about another person is the biggest mistake.
Quarrels created through words will give their effect here and now, and will dissipate right away, whereas quarrels through the mind will progress further. When you say things verbally, the other person will answer back and so you will face the consequences right away. But quarrels fought though the mind will sow seeds first, then, when that karma matures, it will give fruits. So now you are sowing the seeds – creating the cause. So you should do pratikraman so that this ‘cause’ is not created.
To think negatively about a wall would not bring harm upon you, because the loss will only be one-sided, whereas even a single negative thought towards a living being is detrimental. Losses will be encountered on both sides. However, if you do pratikraman afterwards, your faults will be erased. Therefore, wherever there is friction, do pratikraman so it ends.
Whenever you clash, always do pratikraman to burn these seeds that you’ve wrongly sown! By doing pratikraman we repent over our past and current mistakes and ask for forgiveness from the other person whom we have hurt to thus improve our current and future life by becoming free of the ill effects of our wrong deeds.