In attempting to avoid clashes, many people mistake and turn the true meaning of “avoid” into “tolerate”. Toleration and conflict avoidance are two very different things. Conflict avoidance will totally prevent the clash from occurring and will not affect the future; however, tolerating it will only test your patience.
Sometimes you find yourself in a situation, where you are unable to satisfy everyone and avoid a clash. Nevertheless, this does not mean that one should tolerate it either. Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan had said, “To tolerate is the same as compressing a spring. How long can a spring remain compressed? So definitely do not learn to tolerate, learn how to bring about a solution.” Only by obtaining a solution will you avoid the clash.
Wherever you think you are having to tolerate because of someone else, do you know what the real cause is behind the other person behaving with you in such a manner?
It is actually because of your own karmic account. Yes, you do not have the knowledge of your past accounts, which is why it appears to you that the other person is giving you something new, that which you don’t deserve. And you get puzzled, “Why is he doing this to me?” Oh! He is simply returning what you’ve given in the past. Look deeper into your karmic account book, because not a single event that comes to you is outside of your own karmic account book.
Whatever has come your way is solely because of your own past karma which has matured today to get cleared and paid off; so you must be happy that you are now getting free of this particular karma. And the person giving it to you is simply an instrument in the process, so you must be grateful to him as he has helped you settle your outstanding karmic account. This is the correct understanding which will surely solve all your puzzles. Now tell me, is there a need to tolerate anything at all?
Adverse Effects of Tolerating