No one understands me. No one cares about me. I want to end my life. What should I do?

Emotions that are related to a lack of appreciation ‘I feel unappreciated’, being misunderstood ‘no one understands me’, or not having support ‘no one cares about me’ can lead to self-doubt, frustration, loneliness and depression. When we feel so sad that we are unable to see beyond these negative feelings, we contemplate taking revenge. Inevitably, this may lead to thoughts like, ‘I want to end my life’ as a last resort to gain some sort of recognition from those that under-appreciate us.

In fact, these thoughts will only harm you, not anyone else. Not to mention, taking your own life has very grave consequences.

Instead, you should look at the underlying causes of your unhappiness.

• You may have grown to doubt what others say to you, especially if it is something nice.
• You are very busy and distracted with life so you fail to accept positive appreciation that is shown to you.
• Deep down you might feel unworthy of love from others.
• Things may seem pretty bad for you; therefore, it does not matter how many times someone says ‘Well done!’, ‘Brilliant job.’ In your mind, you perceive their words negatively.
• Self-doubt, insecurity, a lack of confidence or competitiveness are reasons that make you feel underappreciated.

So, what can you do to change that?

• Everything you do should be done without expecting anything in return. Expectation only results in pain and suffering
• Tasks should be performed to the best of your ability.
• If you need help, then ask for it. Sometimes we assume people know we need support, but this is not always the case. Sometimes what seems obvious to us may not be obvious to others.
• Without being conceited, let others know what you have done and ask them what they think of it. Everyone is preoccupied with themselves. They are all lost in their own troubles. By communicating with them openly, you are sure to get a response.
• What may be the right thing for us may not be the right thing for others. Therefore, always check what is required for any task.
• Don’t be shy. Draw on the expertise of others.
• Communication is at the heart of all relationships, whether school, work or family.
• Try to investigate what is causing you to be so unhappy – such as competitiveness, jealousy, expectations, the need for recognition, or a lack of confidence.
• If you want to be appreciated, then appreciate what others do.
• See the best in others – refrain from seeing their faults. Do not play the blame game.
• Remain positive.
• Listen to and keep the company of others.
• Why do not you take the first step and make changes in your relationship with them?
• Change yourself. You will see that others will follow.
• Give others happiness and you too will receive the same.
• Change your mindset – adapt your mind to suits others.
• Enjoy what you do. You will notice that whenever you do something you like, you will perform better at it. Likewise, when you do something you do not like, you will not get as good results.

Above all, remember that there is absolutely no need to continue feeling the way you do. Investigate and search for the causes which are contributing to the way you are feeling. If you are truly committed to finding a solution to your present dilemma, then things will most certainly resolve themselves. All you need to achieve this is to be prepared to compromise, speak your mind without hurting others, and be prepared to manage the expectation of others and your own. Last but not least, do not shy away from reaching out and asking for help and support when you need it.

Instead of suffering in silence and wallowing in self-pity, it is far better to express the way you are feeling. By being open-minded and communicating, you will find you are less bothered, less stressed and far happier.