Questioner: When I apologize directly to the one who works under me, you would not believe how it goes to his head.
Dadashri: There is no need to say anything to him. When you inadvertently say something hurtful, do you not repent it? When you repent your actions, you are doing pratikraman. Then you are not responsible at all. That is why 'we' have said that we will take on your responsibility, because if you do this much, then the responsibility is no longer yours. After that, 'we' know how to defend that. You are within the law of Nature if you do this much. And then 'we' know how to deal with whatever occurs. Do you understand that? We can handle it. But at least do what 'we' tell you to; then it is more than enough.
If a person becomes so depressed that he feels like committing suicide because of what you said to him; if you find yourself in that state, then you should continue doing pratikraman for half an hour to an hour that, 'Why did I have to get in such a situation? I became a nimit (instrument) for this?' Then the responsibility is no longer yours. So do not be afraid. If you abide by what 'we' say up to this point, then 'we' will take the responsibility of it with the 'higher courts.' 'We' will take care of any dispute that arises thereafter. But you have to go as far as this; it is more than enough. Deal with whatever is in your karmic debt (hisaab); do not dwell too deeply into it.
Reference: Book Name: Pratikraman (Full version) (Page #193 - Paragraph #2 & #3)
Can Such Serious Demerit Karma Be Washed Away?
Dadashri: You should continue to do pratikraman in his name. Do pratikraman with the same intensity as the intensity of pain you caused him.
Questioner: A mother-in-law says something to her daughter-in-law and the daughter-in-law commits suicide as a result. Will the daughter-in-law attain peace if the mother-in-law does pratikraman afterwards?
Dadashri: We have to continue doing pratikraman; we are not liable for anything else.
Questioner: What if the person is living?
Dadashri: After doing pratikramans, you have to tell him, ‘I have no sense. Please forgive me.’ You should say that and he will be pleased. The other person becomes happy when you show him that you have less sense. If you say this even after breaking his arm, he will not worry about his broken arm. He will be happy. This is because the breaking of his arm had already been decided (it was in his karma), but you became the nimit. And so it occurred through your nimit (you as the nimit). So that karma became settled. The account became settled through a credit and a debit.
1) If at times you do get into friction, then you can erase the consequences by doing pratikramans (ask for forgiveness sincerely). Otherwise, there are grave consequences.
2) In the morning the first thing you should say is, “I do not want to hurt any living being to the lightest extent through my mind, speech, or actions.” Repeat this five times before leaving home and then if you hurt someone unintentionally, do pratikraman for it as soon as possible.
3) When you do pratikraman, his mind and attitude towards you will improve.
Pratikraman is the magical eraser for all relationship problems. To find out how to do Pratikraman, click here.