Problems in Relationship : Stop Fault Finding

1. All misery and suffering in this world is a consequence of lack of understanding.
2. When you engage in criticisms you are dissipating your own energies.
3. When you confess your mistakes, your strength begins to grow.
4. When you begin to see your own faults, you have attained Right Vision.
5. The nature of mistakes is such that once you become aware of them, they leave.
6. Once you are awakened to The Self, you become aware of your mistakes; otherwise you can never see your own faults or mistakes.
7. You are your own protector and your own destroyer. You are whole and sole responsible for yourself. You are the only boss.
8. Suffering in this world will remain for you as long as you see faults of the world and others. Freedom will be yours when you see the world and others as innocent.
9. Once a person decides that he wants to destroy all his mistakes, he can become fully enlightened.
10. No mistakes can touch the one who is in his pure state of awareness.

1. The reason behind why you see faults in others is that your vision is unnatural and imperfect. It is a vision that is tainted with the intellect. The intellect always creates differences. It creates a division of 'me' and 'you' and 'mine' and 'yours'. As long as you see faults in others, you have attained nothing.
2. In reality, this world is truly independent and no one can interfere with another.
3. Any support for anger, pride attachment and greed is defined as a mistake. If for just three years, that support is not given to these inner enemies, they will disappear.

What understanding can I try to use in order to never see another persons negative qualities?

"People's faults are their gutters. Even the gutters in the streets are kept covered. A young child knows not to keep the gutters and sewers open. If you have a kitchen, surely you will have a gutter outside and you will always keep the gutter covered with a lid. People have certain faults; a person may be cranky or angry - to look at their negative qualities, is equivalent to opening up a sewer. It is better to look at their good qualities instead. You only need to look at your own gutter and keep it clean, so it does not clog up. People do not realize that their drains are clogging up, and if they did, would they know how to take care of the problem?

They reach their limitations, and that is why all the disease sets in. Through reading the scriptures they learn to say, "You should not speak ill of others!" And although they go around exclaiming this, the underlying gossiping continues. Whenever you utter even the slightest negativity about anyone, you have undoubtedly caused damage. No one opens the lids of the outside physical gutters, but people tend to keep opening other people's gutters."

1. Those who show us our mistakes are very beneficial to us. What is better than having someone show you your mistakes, which otherwise you would have to make an effort to see? Gnani Purush is open to the sky. He is like a child. Even a child can show the Gnani his mistakes, without any hesitation and the Gnani would accept. 

How can a person get rid of his bad habits? By constantly keeping in mind that his habits are bad, and also openly declaring the same. He should repent a lot for his habits and never defend them. Then he will become free of them. This is Dadashri's personal discovery of how to get rid of bad habits.

2. I have no inflexibility in me. I accept my mistakes readily when they are pointed out to me. I am even thankful to the person who points out my mistakes to me, because if he sees them then it means that the mistakes are there. I would not question whether he is right or wrong.