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I am always being judged. I do not fit in anywhere. Where do I belong?

To feel like you are being judged is confusing, frustrating and painful. It makes you feel insecure and inferior. Inevitably, we have all experienced this at some stage in our lives, but for some people, the impact of feeling judged can be extremely depressing.

What can we do?

Take it for granted that everyone you encounter in this world will have opinions. It will make your life easier. The bright side is that you do not have to like or even agree to the opinions of others, but you have to respect them. Even if you look in your own home, you will notice that everyone will have a different point of view. For example, when it comes to deciding what to eat for dinner. Every member of the family will choose different items and it will be impossible to please everyone, so compromises must be made.

Similarly in life, you will never be able to make everyone happy. Whatever decisions you make or whatever you do, you will be judged and people will form opinions. Just remain strong and instead of trying to make everyone happy, actively make an effort not to hurt them.

Everyone has his or her own point of view. What we deem to be correct may not be so for somebody else. For example, we may think it is bad to eat late at night but someone else may have no other option than to eat late at night because they work long hours. There is no right or wrong, just different points of view. And that is why people perceive the exact same situations differently.

Who makes judgements and opinions?

It is the job of the intellect to keep distinguishing between good and bad. The good intellect will show us good things and the bad intellect will show us bad things. With the bad intellect, we will experience tremendous suffering, whereas with the good intellect, we will experience peace. From the point of view of a thief, stealing is not a bad thing. Therefore, when the thief is being judged, he will feel hurt, as he has a different set of values.

In addition, for you to overcome the opinions or judgements of others, you need to maintain a positive intellect and keep making adjustments with them. If, however, you strongly believe in something which is not in line with what others think, just continue doing what you think is right, but try not to hurt anyone because of it.

‘I do not fit in anywhere. Where do I belong?’

To establish our place in this world, we need to determine our goal. Life without a goal will be unclear and confusing. We will have no direction and we will move about aimlessly.

Having acquired a human life, we should strive to achieve two things:

  • Live our life in such a manner that we hurt no living being, through our mind, speech and body.
  • Strive to break free from the cycle of birth and death. The essence of human life is to attain eternal liberation (moksha) from the bondage of karma. It is to become fully enlightened by attaining Self Realization (Gnan) through the knowledge of the Self (Atma Gnan). 

Achieving this goal will enable us to experience the constant bliss of the Self, no matter how bad the circumstances are. There is no doubt that everyone belongs in this world. The challenge is the choices they make during their lifetime. 

There are two ways by which one will realize the goal of life. If we have not met a Gnani Purush (an enlightened One), then we should live life in such a way that we hurt no one. Our highest goal should be to not hurt any living being in the slightest. The other way is if you encounter the Gnani Purush, then you should remain in the Gnani’s spiritual company (satsang). In doing so, all your work will be accomplished. All the 'puzzles' will be solved.”  -  Dada Bhagwan                                                                                                                   

 

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