“People don’t like me”, “what people think about me”, “what others think of me?” These are some statements in mind that lead to worry and ruin peace. At this point, you should counter-question yourself:
Why ruin your peace with what people think about you? So, how to stop worrying about what others think of you?
The world will say such things regardless of whether you have done something or not. Once you have done your job honestly and correctly, relax; and leave the rest to Nature, for the results are not in your hands. Nature does it all. So, say, “Whatever happens is correct” and accept the result that comes forth.
The result could be in the form of good labels or even bad labels that people try to put on you. But do you know that those labels stick only when they matter to you, when they affect you? If you do not allow the labels to stick onto you, they will immediately fall off there and then.
The truth is worrying will never help solve your current predicament. However, if you understand the science behind the events occurring in your life, you will no longer suffer from worries.
When the fear of insult leaves
When the fear of insult no longer exists within us, then we will not meet anyone who will insult us. The transactions of the give and take of insults continue only as long as there is fear. When the fear leaves, the transactions end. And for the fear to leave, one must know that, ‘Nobody can insult you if you do not have an account of karma with them; and if you do have a pending karmic account, no one will spare you either’.
So, whatever comes our way is a result of our own doing. If you think that people don’t like me, it is because of the account of our past karmas that people harm us or help us. If people do not like us, it is simply payback for the mistake that we have made in our past life, which is being settled through the medium of these people in this life. Therefore, let us look at settling all our past accounts and not create any new loans.
How do we do that?
For a moment, let us think of insulting someone in terms of taking out a loan from a bank. In your past life, when you insulted someone, you took out a loan from the bank, which you will have to repay. Then in this life, when people come and insult you, Nature granted you the opportunity to pay off your loan, by not reacting to the insult. However, what do you do? You react and feel, 'Why is he insulting me?' So while your previous loan was being settled when you were getting insulted, you simultaneously created a new loan i.e. you bound new karma. Furthermore, if you insult that person five more times in return, you make your loan bigger.
What is surprising is that we are finding this one insult so difficult to accept and yet we increase the amount of suffering we invited for ourselves, by adding a new account of five more insults that will now come back to us in the future!
Let us see Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan’s unique thinking when it came to insults from His own life experience:
Consider yourself very fortunate if someone insults you or speaks ill of you. A few years ago, I used to announce that anyone in need of money could come and give me a slap and I in return would pay him five hundred rupees. Everyone refused and said they could not do it. Where can you find someone willing to slap or insult you even if you were willing to pay them for it? So, people who are insulted frequently in their homes without having to pay for them [the insults], should consider themselves fortunate. As for myself, although I was willing to pay five hundred rupees, I was not as fortunate.
Before attaining spontaneous Self Realization, I used to insult and belittle myself because no one else would do it for me! Even though I was willing to pay to be insulted, no one would oblige me and that is why I had to do it myself. I used to tell myself, ‘you have no sense whatsoever! You are stupid! You are an imbecile!’ I would ask myself: ‘What kind of a person are you? Is the path to liberation so difficult to warrant such behaviour from you?’ I would insult myself in this way. What else could I do when no one would oblige me? You on the other hand don’t even have to search for insults or pay for them, because you receive them anyway. Hence, shouldn’t you take advantage of this situation?
Reference: Book Name: The Flawless Vision (Page #11)