Related Questions

Do children improve through fear or love?

Questioner : Children here are very argumentative and when we talk to them, they tell us, 'Why are you lecturing us?'


Dadashri : Yes, they argue a lot. Yet, if you teach them with love, then the arguments will decrease. These arguments are the results of your own mistakes. They argue with you because they simply cannot forget all the times you have intimidated them. That is why they argue. Not a single child argues with me because I talk to them with true love. My voice does not have a tone of authority or a trace of ego. If you talk to a child there should be no hint of authority in it.

Dadashri : So why don't you experiment this yourself, according to my instructions?

Questioner : What should we do?

Dadashri : Just speak to him with love and affection.

Questioner : He knows that I love him.

Dadashri : That kind of a love is worthless because the moment you say anything to him, you use your authority as a tax collector, 'Do that, you have no sense, this and that etc.' Do you not speak this way? The world will always improve with love. There is no other solution for it. If it were possible to change things through fear, repression and intimidation then there would be an end to democracy in government and we would have totalitarian regimes that would incarcerate human beings and even hang them.

Questioner : What if he still does not improve?

Dadashri : You still have to continue to observe what happens even if he is heading in the wrong direction. You should pray to God to bestow his compassion upon him. Understand that everything is relative and thus remain detached. You carry a baby for nine months, and when it is born, you have to help it walk and help it get around. You should only do this when they are young, after that, you should let go. Do cows not let their young go? You need to guide and correct your child until the age of five, after that you cannot correct him. And after the age of twenty, his wife will be there to improve him. You do not have to do that.

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