Most parents complain that their kids do not listen to them. What do you do when someone on the other side of a phone call cannot listen to what you say? Don’t you try at your end so that the other person can listen? This is exactly what you need to do when it comes to how to get kids to listen; you need to know how to talk so kids will listen.
The daily interaction right from going to school upto after-school homework is essential. We don’t want these interactions to be battles. The main button we want to press is our words should not hurt them. Start the day with loving words. The kids are our dependents. They are here for our love and warmth.
The words that irritate the child are instruction words - do this and do that or don’t do this. Consider this - how insulting would you feel when you have to work with your boss or spouse watching you behind your shoulder and yelling at you ‘complete this, do it fast, you are always late!, you are clumsy,...’ Your child is small, but he has his independent will and freedom to choose as per his preference.
Now consider this - how happy you were whenever you got any appreciation from boss, friends or family. So make sure you appreciate your child daily for small things you want to encourage.
You can analyze your daily situation and come up with adjustments:
Param Pujya Dadashri says, "Nothing negative has happened to me for so many years. I have never experienced even the slightest negativity in any circumstance. If your mind becomes positive, you become divine, which is why I tell people to get rid of their negativity through maintaining equanimity. Then only the positive will remain. In your worldly affairs, stay positive. In nischaya (real viewpoint), neither the positive nor the negative exists".
Argumentativeness in the Child is Indeed a Reaction Returning to You
Questioner: (If we say anything, then) my children argue a lot. They tell us, “Why are you lecturing us ?”
Dadashri: In spite of them arguing a lot if you indeed teach them with love, then their arguments will decrease. These arguments are your reaction. Up to now, you have continued to intimidate them, isn't it! That does not go away from their mind, it certainly cannot be erased. So, then, it is due to this that they continue to argue. Not a single child argues with me. That is because I am talking to all of you with true love.