Traps Are Everywhere, Where is One to Go?
What do you do when there is no solution? You cannot complain or cry about things that have no solutions. This worldly life is mandatory. A person is obligated to carry out his duties even if he does not like the quarrelsome nature of his wife, his brother or his parents; if he is trapped amongst such a crowd, he has no choice but stay. He feels suffocated by this trap, but where can he go? There is a wall all around him and he is trapped within. There is a wall of societal pressure; 'What will people say, if I leave?' There is also a legal wall. If his predicament drives him to commit suicide at Juhu Beach, the policeman will detain him. He may say to the policeman, 'Look here Sir, please let me die in peace.' The policeman will say, 'Sir we cannot let you do that. Suicide is illegal so I will have to arrest you." So they will not let you die and neither will they let you live; that is called worldly life. So just try to live peacefully and rest. Such is this worldly life; everything in it is compulsory and mandatory. They will not let you live and neither will they let you die.
So try to adjust any way that you can and pass the time so that your karmic debts are paid off and cleared. You may have a debt of twenty-five years with someone, fifteen years with another, ten years with another and thirty years with someone else; you have no choice but payoff the debt. Whether you like it or not, you have no choice but live in the same room as that person. You sleep on one side and she sleeps on the other and even if you turn your back to each other, your thoughts are of each other. There is no escape. This indeed is the nature of this world. What is more, it is not only that you do not like her; she too may not like you. So there is no happiness in this world.
A thinking person cannot afford to have conflicts that create worldly bondage. A non-discerning person is not even aware of the trap and the bondage in clashing. If you say something derogatory about a deaf man in his presence, he would be unaffected because he simply cannot hear. In the same way, people are deaf on the inside. This is the ignorance, and that is why they put up with all the quarrels and the conflicts. People look for happiness in the worldly life, how can there ever be happiness in it?
Wherever he goes, as long as he identifies with feelings such as 'mine', 'yours' or 'I did this', his maya and attachment will remain with him too. A man came to me crying profusely. He told me that it had become very difficult for him to continue living and that he felt like committing suicide. I knew that his wife had passed away about fifteen days ago leaving behind four children. I asked him how long he had been married and he told me ten years. I asked him whether he would still cry for her if she had died more than ten years ago, before he had seen her. His reply was how could he cry when he did not even know her? I went on to explain: 'Let me tell you why you cry for her now. When you went to marry her, you went in grandeur with a procession of brass band and music. During the ceremonial walk around the fire, you began to wind the feeling of 'This is my wife… this is my wife…'. Everytime you looked at her you kept thinking 'This is my wife', and thus began to wind and twist within you, the feelings of attachment. If the wife turns out to be good, then you become bound with a silk thread, and if she turns out to be difficult, then you become bound with a cotton thread. Now if you want to be free, you will have to unwind your attachment by saying 'She is not mine…She is not mine', just as many times as you had wound with 'She is mine', only then will you become free from your attachment. He understood exactly what I told him and started to unwind his attachment by saying ‘She is not mine…she is not mine...’, with such fervor that he returned to me in a fortnight and fell at my feet with tears of joy telling me that I had saved him by showing him how to free himself from his attachment. By listening to this story, many others have become free from their attachments also.