When can one say that they have gained from the family members at home? It is when they feel love towards you and they miss you. They look forward to the times with you. People get married but there is no love there. It is only a sexual attraction and need. If it were love, then no matter how many differences they have, their love would not go away. The absence of such a love is called infatuation and attraction. Infatuation and attraction is a waste. Love worth mentioning used to exist in the past. If the husband went abroad for a prolonged period, the wife's chit (inner attentive vision) would remain with her husband her entire life. She would not think about anyone else. Nowadays if the husband does not return within two years the woman will find someone else. How can this be called love? It is all a waste. In love there is surrender and devotion.
Love is a constant internal attraction. It stays on one's mind the whole day. Marriages end up in two ways: either they will thrive or they will end. Love that overflows will subside again. That which overflows is infatuation and attraction, so stay away from love that overflows. The attraction in love should be for the person rather than his or her physical condition. The love should remain the same even if the external body is diseased or is disfigured. When they are newly married the husband caresses his wife's hand, but if she burns that hand in an accident and asks his help in washing and dressing it, he is repulsed. How can there be such repulsion? Where there is love, there is no repulsion and where there is repulsion, there is no love. Even the worldly love should not increase or decrease to this extent. It should be within limits. A Gnani's love is divine love, which never increases or decreases.
Love should exist everywhere. Only love should prevail in the home. Where there is love, one does not see fault in others. When a man acts like a husband, it is egoism, not love. No matter how many mistakes there are, in love one endures them all. Do you understand that?
Questioner: Yes Dada.
Dadashri: So if there is a mistake, you have to let it go for the sake of love. If you love your son, then you cannot look at his mistakes, moreover you have to reassure him that everything is going to be fine. Love endures everything.
This is all infatuation and attraction! One moment the wife will embrace her husband and the next she will criticize him. There is no criticism in love. In love, one cannot look at any faults. In love you do not see faults in a person, ever. Do these people truly have love? Reject such a love.
You will not see real love in this time cycle. You will not see real love. One man told me, 'I love her so much. Even then she insults and rejects me!' I told him that it was not love. No one rejects real love.
Book Name : Pure Love (Page #28 - Paragraph #2,#3 and Page #29)