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How do you forgive someone when they continue to hurt you over and over again?


Questioner: If someone does something wrong to us and he comes to ask for forgiveness, we forgive him. We have forgiven him internally even when he does not ask for forgiveness. What should we do if he keeps doing the same thing over and over again?

Dadashri: Try as best as you can to explain to him in a gentle manner. There is no other way because you do not have any control over the matter. You have no choice other than to forgive him. If you do not forgive, you will end up forgiving after more suffering. There is no other way. You have to make him understand and you should try to make him see his error. If he changes his internal intent and recognizes that it is wrong for him to hurt you, your work is done. His hurting you is an effect for him.

How much good would it do you to know that your son has pilfered some loose change from your wallet while running an errand for you? You must accept him the way he is. Can you throw him out and find another son?

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