Questioner: Dada, my children misbehave at home. My scolding has no effect on them.
Dadashri: Have you ever noticed the writing on some packages shipped on the trains? Do they not say, 'Glass-Handle With Care,'? Similarly, you should practice the same policy at home when interacting with your children. What happens to glass if you keep hitting it with a hammer? No matter how upset you are, would you throw that package of glass? Would you not regard the label, right away? Likewise, you should handle everyone at home as if you are handling glass. Typically if something goes wrong within the home, your immediate response is, "Why did you lose your purse? Where did you go? How did you manage to lose your purse?" This kind of bombardment is same as hitting glass with a hammer. If parents simply understand the statement, 'Glass- Handle With Care,' they will be able to deal with the children. They need not be Self-realized for this.
Love is the only way to improve the world. What the world calls 'love' is not real love; it is infatuation, attachment. You love your daughter, but would that love exist if she were to do something wrong? At that time, you get upset with her and therefore it is not love, it is infatuation or attachment.
Live with your children as though you are their trustee. Do not worry or harbor anxieties about getting them married. Whatever happens, just say, "It is correct." You will gain nothing by saying, "It is incorrect." Those who perceive it as wrong or incorrect, suffer a lot. Of course if a couple's only child were to die, you cannot tell them, "It is correct." In instances such as that, you must say what happened to their child was very unfortunate. You must express your feelings naturally. You have to play out your role in the drama of life, but from within, your conviction should be that whatever happens is 'correct' and move on. Glass is a glass as long it is in your hands and if it slips and breaks, then say it is correct. Tell your daughter to be careful as she picks up the broken glass, but from within say that it is correct.
If your speech does not have anger in it, it will not hurt the other person. Words spoken in anger are not the only form of anger. Anger also exists as anguish churning within a person. To suffer in silence and to tolerate is twice the anger. Tolerance is similar to putting pressure on a coil. The coil can only sustain so much pressure. Similarly, one can only tolerate so much before his 'spring' recoils. The breaking point of one's tolerance level will be realized when his spring shoots from having an excessive amount of pressure exerted upon it. Why do you have to tolerate? You have to solve everything through Gnan. If any damage occurs to you or your relative world, you are to simply remain an observer (drashta) and a knower (gnata) of everything that is going on. This world is only meant to be seen and to be known.
1) One is not to win the world; he has to win the home (family).
2) When you get irritated with children; that is considered as taking a new 'loan' (new karma is charged). You have not yet paid off the old one! To become irritated is an "extra item" outside of the "contract" (the past lives deeds between 2 people). This is how one continues to create new debts (new karma is charged).
A. Questioner: Definition of Suffering Dadashri: True unhappiness is when you are hungry and you do not get any food to eat for hours on end; it is when you... Read More
A. Dadashri: In the current times, there is nothing better than speaking as little as possible. Today the words that come out hurt people like rocks. This... Read More
A. Questioner: How can I tell whether I have improved? Dadashri: When others see love in you even when you reprimand and scold them. Even if you reprimand... Read More
A. Questioner : Some people just do not understand, no matter how nicely you interact with them. Dadashri: If they do not understand, then the fault is... Read More
A. Questioner : What should we do if we do not want to get into a conflict but the other person comes to pick a fight? Say one is very careful and aware, and... Read More
A. Dadashri: Man has to marry for his food! He may think to himself, 'I am the bread winner,' but who will do the cooking? The woman knows that although she... Read More
A. Dadashri: The one who learns the art of adjusting is the one who has turned towards the path of liberation. To have made an adjustment is Gnan. The one who... Read More
A. Dadashri: It would be a different matter if after quarreling with your wife; you would have nothing to do with her. However, you have no choice, you will... Read More
A. Questioner : What should we do when we know that despite our efforts to compromise to reach a settlement with the other person, the outcome is going to be... Read More
A. Dadashri: Why do you conduct your business? Questioner : To earn money. Dadashri : Money for what? Questioner : That I do not know. Dadashri : Let me... Read More
A. Questioner : What is ideal Business? Dadashri: The best kind of business is one where there is no violence or harm against other living entity through the... Read More
A. Dadashri: Every business has gains and losses associated with it. If there are a lot of mosquitoes in your room, they will not let you sleep. But, you... Read More
A. Questioner : Today if a person tries to do business honestly, his business Incurs a loss, why is that? Dadashri: When you do your work honestly you will... Read More
A. Questioner : I have a lot of worries about my business. I am faced with a lot of difficulties. Dadashri: Understand this much. Understand that the moment... Read More
A. Customers: Who Brings Them? Questioner : I open my shop early and close late in order to attract more customers, is this right? Dadashri: Who are you to... Read More
A. Questioner : Does the quarreling have anything to do with the kind of money people have? Dadashri: That is the very cause. If the money is pure, the mind... Read More
A. Questioner : I have incurred a very heavy loss in my business, what should I do? Should I close the business? I am in deep debt. Dadashri: Losses... Read More
A. Some with power and authority will oppress those under them. The one who abuses his power will lose it. He will also lose his right to be born as a human... Read More
A. People criticize and attack their subordinates. You fools! Why don't you attack your boss? That is where your victory counts! Such are the interactions of... Read More