Questioner: Dada, my children misbehave at home. My scolding has no effect on them.
Dadashri: Have you ever noticed the writing on some packages shipped on the trains? Do they not say, 'Glass-Handle With Care,'? Similarly, you should practice the same policy at home when interacting with your children. What happens to glass if you keep hitting it with a hammer? No matter how upset you are, would you throw that package of glass? Would you not regard the label, right away? Likewise, you should handle everyone at home as if you are handling glass. Typically if something goes wrong within the home, your immediate response is, "Why did you lose your purse? Where did you go? How did you manage to lose your purse?" This kind of bombardment is same as hitting glass with a hammer. If parents simply understand the statement, 'Glass- Handle With Care,' they will be able to deal with the children. They need not be Self-realized for this.
Love is the only way to improve the world. What the world calls 'love' is not real love; it is infatuation, attachment. You love your daughter, but would that love exist if she were to do something wrong? At that time, you get upset with her and therefore it is not love, it is infatuation or attachment.
Live with your children as though you are their trustee. Do not worry or harbor anxieties about getting them married. Whatever happens, just say, "It is correct." You will gain nothing by saying, "It is incorrect." Those who perceive it as wrong or incorrect, suffer a lot. Of course if a couple's only child were to die, you cannot tell them, "It is correct." In instances such as that, you must say what happened to their child was very unfortunate. You must express your feelings naturally. You have to play out your role in the drama of life, but from within, your conviction should be that whatever happens is 'correct' and move on. Glass is a glass as long it is in your hands and if it slips and breaks, then say it is correct. Tell your daughter to be careful as she picks up the broken glass, but from within say that it is correct.
If your speech does not have anger in it, it will not hurt the other person. Words spoken in anger are not the only form of anger. Anger also exists as anguish churning within a person. To suffer in silence and to tolerate is twice the anger. Tolerance is similar to putting pressure on a coil. The coil can only sustain so much pressure. Similarly, one can only tolerate so much before his 'spring' recoils. The breaking point of one's tolerance level will be realized when his spring shoots from having an excessive amount of pressure exerted upon it. Why do you have to tolerate? You have to solve everything through Gnan. If any damage occurs to you or your relative world, you are to simply remain an observer (drashta) and a knower (gnata) of everything that is going on. This world is only meant to be seen and to be known.
1) One is not to win the world; he has to win the home (family).
2) When you get irritated with children; that is considered as taking a new 'loan' (new karma is charged). You have not yet paid off the old one! To become irritated is an "extra item" outside of the "contract" (the past lives deeds between 2 people). This is how one continues to create new debts (new karma is charged).
Book Name : Life without conflict (Page #44 Paragraph #2, #3, #4 & #5 ; Page #45 Paragraph #1 & #2)
A. True unhappiness is when you are hungry and you do not get any food to eat for hours on end; it is... Read More
Q. Words hurt children … so how to deal with children?
A. Dadashri: In the current times, there is nothing better than speaking as little as possible. Today... Read More
Q. How to reprimand or scold children for their improvement?
A. Questioner: How can I tell whether I have improved? Dadashri: When others see love in you even... Read More
Q. I have big row with my wife, who is at fault?
A. Questioner : Some people just do not understand, no matter how nicely you interact with... Read More
Q. The other person comes to pick a fight, what should I do?
A. Questioner : What should we do if we do not want to get into a conflict but the other person comes... Read More
Q. What is the ultimate solution to conflict between man and woman?
A. Dadashri: Man has to marry for his food! He may think to himself, 'I am the bread winner,' but who... Read More
Q. How conflicts can be resolved?
A. Dadashri: The one who learns the art of adjusting is the one who has turned towards the path of... Read More
Q. How do I deal with difficult spouse?
A. Dadashri: It would be a different matter if after quarreling with your wife; you would have nothing... Read More
Q. What is the importance of 'True Intent' in resolving conflicts?
A. Questioner : What should we do when we know that despite our efforts to compromise to reach a... Read More
Q. What should be the Goal of Life?
A. Dadashri: Why do you conduct your business? Questioner : To earn money. Dadashri : Money for... Read More
Q. What is Ideal Business and what are its Limits?
A. Questioner : What is ideal Business? Dadashri: The best kind of business is one where there is no... Read More
Q. Be Aware of the Dangers in Business but Be Fearless.
A. Dadashri: Every business has gains and losses associated with it. If there are a lot of mosquitoes... Read More
Q. Today if a person tries to do business honestly, his business Incurs a loss, why is that?
A. Questioner : Today if a person tries to do business honestly, his business Incurs a loss, why is... Read More
Q. I have a lot of worries about my business. How to stop worrying?
A. Questioner : I have a lot of worries about my business. I am faced with a lot of... Read More
Q. No customers no business, what should I do?
A. Customers: Who Brings Them? Questioner : I open my shop early and close late in order to attract... Read More
Q. We have lot of money but no peace at home?
A. Questioner : Does the quarreling have anything to do with the kind of money people have? Dadashri:... Read More
Q. Keep Your Intentions Pure To Pay All Debts
A. Questioner : I have incurred a very heavy loss in my business, what should I do? Should I close the... Read More
Q. How dangerous is the Abuse of Power?
A. Some with power and authority will oppress those under them. The one who abuses his power will lose... Read More
Q. Why to protect your subordinates?
A. People criticize and attack their subordinates. You fools! Why don't you attack your boss? That is... Read More