What Is the true meaning of Forgiveness (Pratikraman)?

The meaning of forgiveness or Pratikraman to turn back. Just as when we proceed on a wrong road and then take a U-turn to come back onto the right path, in the same way, when atikraman (to hurt any other living being through the mind, speech, or body) occurs, Pratikraman (to confess, apologize and resolve not to repeat a mistake) becomes necessary. In simple language, atikraman means to move forward by transgressing a boundary. In spiritual terminology, atikraman refers to a mistake of ours through which demerit karma is bound. For example, becoming angry and engaging in thoughts, speech, or conduct that cause suffering to others is atikraman, and taking repentance for it is called Pratikraman. In short, atikraman means moving in the wrong direction; and turning back from where one has gone astray is called Pratikraman.

Through Pratikraman, the mistake that has occurred gets erased. Pratikraman means roasting the seed of demerit karma so that it can never sprout again.

All the normal activities that take place throughout the day such as eating, drinking, sleeping, waking up, speaking, and walking are called kraman. Waking up early or late is also kraman. Conducting oneself in worldly interactions in such a way that no one is hurt is all referred to as kraman.

However, if in normal worldly interactions something goes wrong with someone, it is called atikraman. For instance, if one speaks harshly to someone, says something that feels wrong to them, utters words that cause hurt, or even accidentally bumps into someone in a way that causes injury, all of these are considered atikraman.

In worldly interactions, if someone is hurt because of us, it is considered atikraman; if no one is hurt, then it is not called atikraman. For example, if we are in a hurry to get some work done and the person doing the work has gone for a tea break, and when they return we start shouting, “Where did you go? The work is pending. Don’t you understand? Useless fellow!” then that is considered atikraman. Many times throughout the day, hurtful interactions with people keep occurring. Often, even without our intention, atikraman happens. Even if we do not say anything aloud, if our mind becomes spoiled toward someone, that too is called atikraman. In worldly interactions, most of the time we are also aware that such atikraman has occurred. On what basis does the world continue to run? On the fault of atikraman.

The occurrence of atikraman is natural, but doing Pratikraman is our purusharth (Real spiritual effort). The stain of demerit karma that is formed through atikraman gets erased immediately by doing Pratikraman. One should live life in such a way that no hurt is caused to anyone even to the slightest extent. Even if atikraman has not been done knowingly and has occurred naturally, one should still do Pratikraman for it.

True Pratikraman

People in the world do ask for forgiveness, but that does not amount to true Pratikraman. It is like saying “sorry” or “thank you” as one does casually in daily life. Such superficial apologies have no real significance. What truly matters is doing true Pratikraman, which takes place in three stages: Alochana, Pratikraman, and Pratyakhyan. Alochana means to confess the fault exactly as it occurred. Then, repenting for one’s mistake is called Pratikraman. Thereafter, making a firm decision and resolving to never repeat that fault is called Pratyakhyan. This is the true meaning of forgiveness or Pratikraman.

Alochana generally needs to be done for actions that are socially condemnable, those that people cannot tolerate or accept. For serious faults that cannot be disclosed to just anyone, Alochana should be done. While doing Alochana, one should openly reveal the fault exactly as it is, without keeping any fear of “What will they say?” By doing Alochana, all the burden of the fault is lifted and one becomes light. However, Alochana should be done only where there is complete trust; otherwise, people in the world may misuse it. In its true sense, Alochana should be done only before an Aptajan (One who knows the Self and who can be trusted in all aspects of worldly matters and spiritual matters all the way up to final liberation), a Gnani Purush (One who has realized the Self and is able to do the same for others). Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says that, “No one has done true alochana. That is the very obstacle that prevents one from going to moksha. There is no problem with the mistakes. And if one is able to do true alochana, there is no problem.”

Turning back from demerit karma is called Pratikraman. Wholehearted repentance for one’s mistake is Pratikraman. Here, Param Pujya Dadashri gives us the true understanding of Pratikraman.

Questioner: So this pratikraman and confession, they are both the same thing, are they not?

Dadashri: No, they cannot be the same. Pratikraman is to keep washing off after an atikraman (aggression through thoughts, speech or action) occurs, and when new ‘stains’ occur, one has to keep washing them off. And confession of one’s sins or wrong action is a different thing.

Questioner: What is the difference between pratikraman and repentance (pashchyataap)?

Dadashri: Prashchyataap is repentance and is general in its application and for a number of faults but not specific to any particular fault. Christians do a general confession of their faults every Sunday. Pratikraman, on the other hand, is specific to a fault. The one who commits the atikraman does pratikraman. Pratikraman is done instantly; it is done the moment atikraman takes place. ‘Shoot-on-sight’ pratikraman should be done so that that particular fault is erased.

After doing Pratikraman, saying, “I will not make this mistake again,” is called Pratyakhyan. Making a firm resolve that the mistake will not occur again is known as Pratyakhyan. If, after taking Pratyakhyan, the same mistake happens again, then Pratikraman should be done again. By repeatedly doing this, the fault gradually becomes lighter. Just as a stain on clothes does not get removed by cleaning a table, in the same way, one must do Pratikraman only for the actual faults that have occurred and take Pratyakhyan only for those very faults.

Alochana, Pratikraman, and Pratyakhyan, composing the true meaning of forgiveness or Pratikraman together, are like taking a daily account. All three must be present together.

Pratikraman - A tool for changing opinions

Pratikraman is actually done to change one’s viewpoint. Suppose we have spoken loudly or harshly in front of our parents or elders; that is considered atikraman. If we do not do Pratikraman at that time, then we are regarded as being on the side of atikraman. However, if we take repentance for that mistake, then we have taken the side opposed to that fault. Pratikraman is to be done in order to sit on the side opposite to the atikraman that has occurred. If we become angry and hurt someone and then do not do Pratikraman, it is considered that we are in agreement with the anger.

Many times, even after doing Pratikraman, it may seem that there is no change in the fault. This does not mean that Pratikraman is ineffective. Faults are like the layers of an onion. As and when Pratikraman is done, one layer at a time gets removed. By continuing in this way, eventually all the layers will be peeled away, and the fault will stand exhausted. Our present life is the result of the karmic fruits of past lives. Suppose a boy has gone astray and incurred a debt of two lakh rupees. Later, he undergoes a change and decides that he will not incur even a single paisa of new debt, and he truly lives according to that decision, using his monthly salary to repay the debt. Now, even though he has resolved not to create any new debt, he still cannot avoid repaying the old debt. In the same way, through true Pratikraman done heartily, the debt of karma will reduce, but it will not be cleared immediately.

Here, Param Pujya Dadashri explains to us the science that operates behind Pratikraman.

Questioner: Bad karmas are erased by doing pratikraman. What is the science behind that?

Dadashri: Demerit karma is created through atikraman and it is destroyed with pratikraman. Demerit karma is destroyed by turning back.

Questioner: So where does the law of karma apply? If we destroy demerit karma with pratikraman, then the law of karma no longer applies, does it?

Dadashri: This verily is the law of karma. Asking for forgiveness is itself the applied law of karma. (Karma is caused by intent of aggression and destroyed by intent of pratikraman.)

Questioner: Then everyone will continue to do wrong and then ask for forgiveness.

Dadashri: Yes, you can continue doing wrong and continue asking for forgiveness; that is what the Lord has said.

Questioner: But one has to ask for forgiveness with a sincere heart, right?

Dadashri: A person who asks for forgiveness does so with his heart. It will even suffice to apologize insincerely, as long as the apology is made.

Questioner: Then it will just become a habit.

Dadashri: Even if it does become a habit, it is fine as long as one asks for forgiveness. If he doesn’t, then he is in serious trouble. What is the meaning of asking for forgiveness? That is called pratikraman. And what is a wrongdoing called? It is called atikraman. What is the law of karma? You have to do pratikraman for any atikraman you do. Do you understand that?

Questioner: Yes.

Dadashri: So ask for forgiveness without fail. Do not listen to this over-wise person! If someone is doing wrong and is asking for forgiveness, let him do so. ‘This is the complete law.’

If someone is drinking brandy and asking to be forgiven, I would tell him to keep asking for forgiveness. Continue asking for forgiveness and continue to drink, but make a firm resolution that now you want to quit this habit. Sincerely resolve this in your mind. Then you may continue to drink and keep asking for forgiveness. One day the addiction will come to an end. I give you this absolute guarantee through my Science.

This is Science! It is bound to grow and proliferate, yielding immediate results.

At times, we may also wonder, “I do Pratikraman, but what if the other person does not forgive?” Explaining the science behind this, Param Pujya Dadashri says that whether the other person forgives or not is not for us to see. Pratikraman is meant to change our own viewpoint. If they do not change, our viewpoint will remain within us, and it will inevitably rise again.