Related Questions

Is being straightforward with crooked people considered stupidity? How should one deal with selfish people?

What if we become crooked with a crooked person?                  

Questioner: The world is crooked vanki (dishonest, selfish, deceitful) but if I behave with simple straightforwardness (honest, fair, truthful) according to my nature then I am considered stupid, so do I give up my straightforwardness saradata and become crooked or should I join the crooked lot in their stupidity?

Dadashri: Straightforwardness saradata arises if you have earning from many life times. The one who is a crooked is trying to make us lose our earning so should we lose our earning? If we lose our own earning then we also became crooked, then what is left with us? All is finished. And then comes bankruptcy.

Questioner: So is it better to be considered stupid and allow myself to be cheated, and be taken for a ride?

Dadashri: No, nobody is stupid in this world, it is not like that at all. Where everybody is stupid (unaware of reality), let them call you stupid. Therefore, you should not keep in your mind that you are being considered stupid. Then, where is the problem? After many life times, one earns simplicity (saradata); so it is a big liability to lose this earning. And you are a lawyer, you will never lose at all, you will think critically before proceeding that is it worth anything to lose such a big asset? Therefore, it does not matter if you get less in life; there is no harm in that, but do not lose this precious asset of simplicity.

The one who calls you stupid, it is his responsibility, he will pay for his fault. Responsibility is of the one who speaks, what is your responsibility in this? You are proceeding and living life with simplicity; simplicity is a very elevated thing. It is not an ordinary thing to remain straight and simple with a crooked (difficult, conniving, devious or hostile) vanko person, it is not an easy thing. Now if you want to lose your precious asset that has arisen after earnings over many life times, then fight (enter into kashaya of hostility or deceit) with all such people.

Reference: Dadavani Magazine October 2009 (Page #2, Page #3)

Adjust with Difficult People

Questioner: One-sided adjustments are not possible in this world. Is that right?

Dadashri: The very definition of an ideal worldly life is adjustment. Even the neighbors will notice and say, “There is conflict in every household except this one!” Your energies (to adjust) have to be cultivated especially with those you do not get along with. These energies are already present with people you get along with. Inability to adjust is a weakness. Why is it possible for me to get along with everyone? The more you adjust, the more your energies will increase and your weaknesses will diminish. Right understanding will prevail only when all the wrong understandings are destroyed.

Everyone gets along with easy-going and good-natured people, but when you learn to get along with difficult, stubborn, and harsh personalities, you have truly accomplished something. No matter how brazen and shameful a person is, if you know how to adjust without losing your mind, it is well worth it. Losing your temper is futile. Nothing in this world will ‘fit’ you (nothing will adapt to you), but if you ‘fit’ with every situation or people, then this world will be good. If you attempt to make others ‘fit’ with you, this world will become awkward. Adjust everywhere. As long as you ‘fit’ into everything, there will be no problems.

Reference: Adjust Everywhere (Page #10 - Paragraph #2 to #4)

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