Related Questions

What are the consequences of illicit sex and adultery in marriage?

Nature has accepted the relation between a husband and a wife. There is no problem if this relationship does not give rise to desires for illicit sexual gratification. Nature has made that much allowance. If you are living a married life, you may indulge in sex that is rightfully yours but you should never even think about that which is not yours, because the consequences of illicit sex are very grave. It is inhuman to take what is not rightfully yours, to wish for what is not rightfully yours and to wish for sex that is not rightfully yours. Should there not be a line of demarcation between what is rightfully yours and what is not? You should never cross that line and commit adultery in marriage. Still, people have crossed that line, have they not? That is called beastliness. There is no problem in enjoying what is rightfully yours.

Unknown Facts about Illicit Sex and Adultery in Marriage:

The world remains in the dark even today, about the grave dangers that exist in indulging in illicit sex and sexual infidelity. Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan has disclosed these dangers to open people’s eyes up to the reality. These are the facts:

  • Having an affair means that you are breaking the boundaries and going against the universal principles accepted by all, no matter what caste or creed you belong to.
  • Once caught, you forever have to live with the shame and guilt of what you have done. Your family members and the people who are close to you may be hurt and deeply saddened by this type of act.
  • People will always look down upon, criticize, point fingers and gossip about you.
  • You experience so many worries and tension internally because you know you are doing something wrong.
  • You bind innumerable demerit karmas if you engage in illicit sex.
  • You lose your worthiness of being a human the moment you take something that is not rightly yours (debauchery).
  • You will lose this human life form, which you have acquired with great difficulty.
  • Illicit sex is a violation of all the five major vows given by the Lord. In it, you commit himsa (violence), you tell lies, and you are openly stealing. It is daylight robbery. Then abrahmacharya (non-celibacy) is definitely there and so is the fifth violation of parigraha (possession). Abrahmacharya is the biggest parigraha. The Lord says that, there is liberation for the one who indulges in rightful sex but there is no liberation for the one who indulges in illicit sex.
  • Param Pujya Dadashri says, ‘You would have to follow her [the woman you have an illicit relationship with] wherever she goes in her next life. She may come as your mother in the next life. I [Param Pujya Dadashri] have seen in my Gnan that there are so many sons, these days, born to their mistresses of their previous life. The son would be of an upper caste and the mother would be of a lower caste. The mother would go to the lower caste and the son would have to go from an upper caste to a lower caste again. Look at these terrible dangers. The woman of past life would become your mother in this birth, and the mother of this birth would become your wife in your next birth. Such are the horrible dangers of this sexual world. In short, make sure you understand this.
  • As the breaths of life increase in frequency, the lifespan decreases. When is the maximum number of breaths used? It is used in fear, in anger, in greed, in deceit and most of all in the sexual act with a woman. In the sexual act with a wife, they are used up more, but in illicit sex with any other woman they are used up much more.
  • When one enjoys someone else’s wife, it is equivalent to him not worrying about someone else enjoying his own daughter. And that is exactly what happens, is it not? Others do enjoy his daughter, do they not? This is considered as extreme worthlenessness; the “ultimate” worthlessness.
  • A person can never be happy and has to suffer painful miseries when he enjoys sex with someone who is not rightfully his [his wife].
  • People are happily enjoying unrightful sex and that is why they bind a very strong knot of suffering for many lives to come. It ruins many lifetimes.
  • A wrongful sexual relationship with another man or woman, is absolutely prohibited. Due to wrongful sexuality, one becomes entitled to a life in hell.
  • If anyone who is married gets involved in illicit sex, then their spouse will make a claim against them; they will even bind enmity. Many men have burnt their wives and many women have poisoned their husbands. They will bind all this vengeance.

The moment one has a thought about having illicit sex, he is headed for a life in the animal kingdom. One thinks in his mind, ‘What is possibly going to happen to me?’ And that is why people do not have any fear. But this world is a factory of fear, therefore be careful when you tread. This is a dangerous era of moral and spiritual decline. Day by day, the time is continuing to degrade; thoughts and everything else will continue to go bad. Therefore, if you talk about going to moksha, then you will get somewhere. That is why wise men practiced brahmacharya and got out of it by attaining liberation.

Those who steal the chastity of a woman become worthy of a life in hell

Questioner: Who are most likely to go to hell?

Dadashri: Rapists go to the seventh hell. As much pleasure he derives from his actions, the misery and pain that he suffers is infinitely greater and that is when he will decide that he does not want to go there anymore. Therefore, in this world if there is anything that you most definitely should not do, it is to rape someone. Never allow your intentions to be tainted sexually. One who rapes goes to hell and has nothing but constant suffering there. In this world there is nothing higher than a woman’s chastity.

Free yourself with True Repentance

For the one who has already taken on this grave liability by participating in illicit sex, but wants to come out of this grave liability, there is a way out. Through the heart-felt confession of the mistake (alochana) to a living Gnani Purush. A Gnani Purush is completely pure in all the way and is completely free from sexuality. Furthermore, He has no selfish interests or motives behind helping you to come out of your mistakes. Therefore, you can rest assured that He never discloses anything to anyone else. Only a living Gnani Purush can show you the way out, but you have to have a clear mind, be truly repentant and have an unshakeable conviction that you will never repeat your mistake again.

Param Pujya Dadashri says, “If you burn your sins in repentance even then your bad deeds would end. After listening to all this, if you were to ask me, "What would happen to me?" I would reassure you that I would help you. There are conditions. You have to wise up from today. From the moment you become aware of your mistake and do pratikramans with sincerity. I will show you what to do next. Then it would all disappear and I would do many other vidhis, special blessings, for you.

Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan provides further assurance:

Questioner: There are people who come to you to do alochana of their past mistakes. Do you help them become free?

Dadashri: When one does alochana to Me, it means he becomes ‘one’ with Me (abheda). I have to free him. There is no other place to do alochana. If he goes to tell his wife, his wife will get angry with him and she will take advantage of him; if he goes to his friend, the friend will take advantage of him; if he goes to tell himself, the self will take advantage of him. So he tells no one and consequently he cannot get rid of his load. That is why ‘we’ have kept the system of direct alochana.

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