Related Questions

How can I control my anger?

Questioner:  I get angry with people that are close to me. The other person may be right according to his viewpoint, but from my viewpoint I become very angry. What is the reason for my anger?

Dadashri: If you are walking along and a stone from a building falls on your head and hurts you, will you get angry?

Questioner: No, because it happened spontaneously.

Dadashri: No, but why do you not get angry in this situation? It is because you do not see anybody there. Who will you get angry with?

Questioner: But no one has thrown the stone.

Dadashri: And if you were to go out now and a little boy throws a stone at you, you will get angry with him. Why? Because you believe that the boy threw the stone at you. However, if a stone rolls down a hillside and hits you, you will look around but you will not get angry. You become angry because in your mind you feel that a person is responsible. No one is able to hurt another person knowingly. Whether a boy throws a stone at you or whether a stone accidentally falls on you, it is essentially the same thing. It is an illusion that makes you perceive that someone is responsible for it. In this world, no man has the independent power over even his own bowel movements. We do have control over anger. When we realize that no one has thrown the stone that falls from the hillside, we do not get angry. And when you say, "Anger overcomes me," it really does not. If it did, then why do you not react in the same way when a stone fall on you? Why don't you get angry when a policeman tells you off, yet you get angry with your wife, with the children, with the neighbors, and with those working under you? Why don't you get angry with your boss? Anger does not just happen to people. People get angry because they want to have their own way.

Questioner: How can one control it?

Dadashri: The control is present. Recognize that the person who throws the stone at you is merely your nimit (someone instrumental) who is bringing to you, the effects of your past karma. When you see a stone falling from a hill, your anger does not arise. In the same manner, here too you should exercise control, because everything is just like the hill. If a car is coming head-on at you, will you get angry or will you move out of the way? Would you crash with the car? You are aware of the consequences. But when you get angry, the internal destruction is much greater. The external destruction is obvious to you, but you are not aware of the internal destruction. This is the only difference.

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