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How do I get along with my wife?

Questioner: What must we do to be free from the relations of previous lives that are now in front of us?

Dadashri: If you are forced to live with someone you do not like, then on the outside you should continue your worldly relationship with that person and from within you must do pratikraman in his name. The suffering for you in this life is the effect of your atikraman from your past life. What were the causes behind your suffering today? In your previous life you did atikraman against that person and as a result, in this life you have to suffer the consequences. If you do pratikraman now, in the presence of whichever God you worship, you will erase your mistakes. Repeated pratikramans will wipe off the many errors that have been caused in these sticky relationships.

erase your mistakes

If a man dislikes his wife, he will see many faults in her and will harp on her negative points. This constant fault finding leads to abhorrence. This abhorrence results in fear. He will experience fear in certain interactions with her and when he sees her, he feels a sense of suffocation and bondage. We all tend to be afraid of those or that which we dislike intensely. All this is the result of abhorrence. To break free from this feeling of contempt, one has to keep asking for forgiveness. Even though the other person may not be aware of it, you have to continue asking for forgiveness from within.

Life is nothing but a play. Is it appropriate to assume that those playing the role of your wife and children are yours to take home? It is fine if when introducing your son you say, "This is my son Shataayu." But say it as you would in a drama. The reason you have to do pratikraman is because you have taken all these relatives to be real. You must do pratikraman because all along you have acted as if they are really your children and wife. If you did not have this belief then pratikraman would not be necessary. With this belief comes attachment and abhorrence and with pratikraman you are liberated. Dada shows you how to do alochana, pratikraman, and pratyakhyan to liberate you.

No one possesses the power to bother anyone or the power to endure. Each person is merely a puppet going about his business on the world's stage. With pratikraman, these puppets learn to live in peace and harmony. No matter how insane the other person may be, he will come to his senses through your pratikraman.

If you do pratikraman all day long for several days, for a person you do not get along with, you will be able to get along with him and he will seek your company. All strife and bitterness is because of your atikraman faults.

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