This is most important aspect of parenting - how to talk to kids?
Dadashri has given following valuable points in communicating with children:
How should the speech be like?
Speech should have the following four components for it to be effective.
Talk without Insistence, Expectation, and Prejudice
This is essential when it comes to how to talk to kids effectively. Parents should not insist the child do ‘this’ or ‘that’. Even if you insist, do not expect that he should follow or listen to what you said. You should be ready to accept whatever he does (as a result). When you keep insisting a child, he will ultimately rebel. This is because, when you insist, it means there is ego working behind. Your ego rises first, and it provokes the ego of the child, thus, aggravating the situation.
Speak in such a way that his ego doesn’t arise. You can explain things to the child; you can try to change his understanding and outlook towards life. Cutoff your ego; do not have any prejudice, and convince him with love. Prejudice means that if you have scolded your son yesterday, then it is stored in the mind that ‘He is indeed like this’, ‘He is indeed like that’ and then you go ahead and scold him again. So the poison spreads from this. Hence, no insistence, no expectation and no prejudice are the primary checks the parents need to do before speaking to the child.
If a few principles are woven in worldly life, then there will not be any problem with anyone. The most important principle is, not to speak anything for trivial matters either at home or outside. You can talk only for specific crucial issues that you may think are essential, but even if it is necessary, it should not be said repeatedly.
The paramount issues that need your attention could be, when the child takes non-vegetarian food, alcohol; when they are into an affair; when they do not study, etc. The rest of the issues like when he gets his car hit; incurs a loss; forgets something, etc., are all minor. Parents should remain calm and handle the situation with love and equanimity. If you can accept such issues, children will surely listen to you during important situations. When you keep nagging over every single matter, the power of your words is lost. The dignity and magnificence of parents should be such that your mere presence will turn his mind around without the need for you to say anything.