Questioner: When they make mistakes, should we not caution them?
Dadashri: All you have to ask them is whether or not they have thought about what they are doing and does it seem right to them. If they say no, then you can ask them why they continue to do so. They are capable of judgment and understanding. They instinctively know when they do something wrong. But when you start to criticize them, they will rebel and become indignant.
Speak in such a way that the other person's ego does not arise. When you speak to your children, do not use an authoritative tone. When I speak to people, their ego is not stirred because my speech is free from ego that uses a commanding tone.
Questioner: Is it demerit karma (paap) when we use harsh language at times while performing our duties?
Dadashri: What is the expression on your face when you use such language? Know that you have committed demerit karma when there is disgust in your expression and your face appears ugly. Always speak calmly and use gentle words. Never use bitter and ugly speech. Use your words sparingly and speak with love and affection so that one day you will win him over. Otherwise you will not succeed. Bitterness on your part will only serve to make him vindictive and harbor hatred towards you. He is helpless at the present time, but from within he is binding negative karmas to get even with you when he grows up. Love will work wonders for you although you may not see the results immediately. Just keep showering him with love and affection and later you will be rewarded with the fruits of this love.
1) No personality (prakruti) is a waste, but you have to discover what it is useful for. You do not have to keep saying, 'You do not know how to make this sweet. You do not know how to do this and how to do that.' But, instead discover what he knows.
2) When you get irritated with children; that is considered as taking a new 'loan' (new karma is charged). You have not yet paid off the old one! To become irritated is an "extra item" outside of the "contract" (the past lives deeds between two people). This is how one continues to create new debts (new karma is charged).
1) When children are reprimanded, they will not tell the truth and they will learn to hide things. This is how deception arises in the world.
2) When you become irritated with your children, you are binding new karma for your next life. There is nothing wrong in displaying irritation towards them as long as you do not feel and suffer the irritation. It should be dramatic.
There is book which explains the "Science of Karma."
Book Name: Generation Gap (Page #21 Paragraph #6 to #8; Page #22 Paragraph #1 & #2)