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How to discipline a child without yelling? How do you raise a child with good manners and discipline?

How to discipline a child or how to raise a child is a parenting art. Knowing how to raise a child with good manners requires you to know some positive parenting tips. Do you know that children will learn whatever they see in you? It is by observing you that your children learn. Whatever you do, they will imitate. So, if you become a person with good manners, they will too. This is the most important child rearing key.

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If you are a vegetarian, you do not drink alcohol and you treat your spouse with respect, your children will take note of your virtues. They will notice how other parents fight, whereas their parents do not. They learn this through simple observation.

If you understand how to take care of a rose plant, then it will actually blossom tremendously. And if you do not have the understanding, then you will forget to water the plant for a month, and so it will dry up. So, parents should learn the art of raising children.

Read on to know the qualities of certified parents as elucidated by Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan, which are essential when it comes to how to discipline your child.

  • To become a qualified parent, one requires a lot of qualities. It is a great responsibility. If a father or a mother uses speech that touches their child’s heart, then they are considered to be a certified father or mother.
  • A parent should be impressive. If the parent does not get angry at the child, then he will indeed do as the parent tells him. This is one of the most effective keys to disciplining your child.
  • Children have brought their own karmic tubers, but on the top of that, they indeed become further equipped only by observing what is going on around them. Something may appear good outside, but if he has the wrong understanding, then in his mind he will feel, ‘Why is this like this?’ He will understand that ‘The problem lies within me.’ Parents should stop all expressions of anger-pride-deceit-greed because upon seeing their moral and cultural values, the children will mimic it.
  • One of the most important quality of a parent is to ensure that their weakness (anger-pride-deceit-greed) is not evident to anyone – specifically their children. If at all the weakness arises, only they should be affected. No one else, not even the children should have difficulty. That is how you should live. This is another effective key to how to discipline a child.

No one in the world improves through physical or verbal abuse. They improve when you lead by example. They benefit from being shown the right way to act.

Here are a few positive parenting tips to raise the child with discipline and good manners:

  1. Children need to be persuaded and coaxed in order to get work done.
  2. A casual cautionary hint of the right understanding turns a child back.
  3. Interact reasonably with everyone in the family. When the child is young, you can give them small errands and appreciate the good behavior in them. And ignore or don’t focus on the negative point. Whatever good habit you want him to cultivate, take a positive approach - appreciate small step he might have done towards that habit and ignore all the negatives he might have done regarding the same. Have patience as it will take time.
  4. When children are reprimanded, they will not tell the truth and they will learn to hide things. This is how deception arises in the world. There is no need to reprimand anyone in this world. If your son comes home from watching a movie and you tell him not to watch, the next time he wants to go to a movie, he will make up an alibi. If a mother is too strict, her children will not know how to interact with others.
  5. If you keep hitting children, they will seek protection outside. Upon finding a teenage friend (boyfriends and girlfriends), that is the end of that. You should not keep hitting your children. They should feel in their minds, ‘When can I go home so that I can sit with my Dad?’ There should be that much love. Instead, when we keep hitting, they don’t feel love and wander off in other directions. Hitting or punishing never brings lasting discipline. Love is the only easy and practical key to how to discipline a child.
  6. Love in the face of abhorrence ultimately leads to a zero balance: If after drinking alcohol your son comes and causes you grief, then you may say, “This boy is causing me a lot of grief.” But it is your mistake (He is settling the karmic accounts). Therefore, suffer it in peace and without spoiling your view and intent (bhaav). Pat his head and tell him, “Son, this should not happen.” Tell him with love; do not harbor any abhorrence towards him. You indeed harbor abhorrence for him, because you believe, ‘He is bad.’ But if you get rid of abhorrence and then you try, it will work.
  7. Interact with the children as a child. If you behave as an elder, then he will be afraid of you. You should point out their mistake by explaining it to them. There should be no reason for him to be afraid of you. You should become the embodiment of pure love (prem swaroop).
  8. Fear should only be through the eyes not via the hand. So whenever they do any mistake and instead of hitting if you stop giving them the love that you were giving everyday then they will automatically understand from within. They realize that a penalty has been given and they will be alert.
  9. Difficult problems get solved with equanimity and compassion.

There was a man who would come home late every night. What he did outside the home is not suitable to mention. The rest of the family was at a loss as to whether to reprimand him or throw him out of the house. When his elder brother tried to talk to him, he threatened to kill him. His family came to me for advice. I told them not to say anything to him or else he would react adversely. In addition, if they were to throw him out of the house, he would turn into a criminal. I told them to let him come and go as he pleased without judging him. They were not to harbor any attachment (raag) or abhorrence (dwesh) towards him. They were to maintain equanimity and compassion towards him. After three or four years, this man turned into a good person. Today, he is an invaluable asset in the family business. Thus, equanimity and compassion are indispensable when it is the matter of how to discipline a child.

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