Looking for how to break bad habits of your kids? Let’s get started!
Consider the following cases and think what could be the reason behind each act.
From all the above cases, what is the common factor that makes the children do what they do?
This is the key to use when it comes to how to stop bad habits of kids. When a child steals, or has a grave habit, the first thing a parent should do is not to scold him/her and try to change their understanding. Every action is an effect. And the effect will change automatically, once the cause is changed. Instead, if you focus on the effect (action) and go around saying, “My child is like this; he is worthless, he is a thief,” what does the child do? He/she decides in his/her mind, ‘Let them say what they want to, I am going to do it anyway.’ So, the parents are turning this child into a thief even more. So, just drop the fact that he/she had done this and at least change his intent (bhaav) right now! Change the opinions (abhipraya) within them!
Pat them affectionately on the head and say, “Come here buddy! Would you feel happy (sukha) if someone took money out of your pocket, the way you stole from someone else? How hurt (dukha) would you feel within at that time? In the same way, wouldn’t he also feel the pain?” You have to explain that whole theory to your child. When you put your hand on him/her like this it makes the poor child feel good. His/her heart feels at ease. Then tell, “Child, we are well respected family”, and so forth. Then he will change his intent to, ‘It is indeed not worth doing this’.
Further, you may help the child apply the following steps to get rid of the bad habit.
The child should believe that it is not worth to steal. His/her belief gets stronger with the step-2.
Let him/her analyze what good he/she received by stealing and what would the consequences be, had he/she been caught. For example, the child has stolen Rs. 10/- from his friend’s bag to buy a sweet. He may be satisfied/happy when he could buy and eat the sweet he was longing for. Ask him affectionately, how he felt while he was stealing. Was he nervous about being caught? Did he think the consequences of stealing? Did he feel light or heavy in the heart during this whole process? What about his reputation in the class, if caught? Will anyone trust him again, etc.
You can also assure him/her saying that if he/she needs something, he/she can convince his parents to get it for him/her, instead of risking himself/herself to many grave consequences.
Pratikraman is a three-step process that is explained by Param Pujya Dadashri, to clear off all the mistakes or hurt caused to others. It also helps in uprooting the karmic causes sown for the next life.
Whenever the child repeats the mistake, ensure that he/she doesn’t protect his mistake. He/she should accept it that it is his/her mistake and will never happen. For example, when they steals and says that they needed it to buy a pen for their exam, and that was necessary at that time. When they feels that their stealing was right for that situation, they are protecting that mistake. Mistakes, when protected will never leave. So, whatever may be the reason, their belief should be that stealing should never be done. Even with this pure intent (which is the new cause), their action (effect of previous cause/intent) may be wrong. But as they are not siding their actions, the intensity of that mistake will weaken and will come to an end. Parents should be loving and should have patience, making sure that the child is working on the mistake by applying the above steps.
Teach children as how to do pratikraman as shown by Param Pujya Dadashri.
Q. What is the role of parents in child development?
A. You are as old in parenting as your first child. You evolve as a parent as you learn the likes and... Read More
A. Dadashri has given following valuable points in communicating with children: As a parent, you... Read More
Q. How to talk so kids will listen to you effectively?
A. Most parents complain that their kids do not listen to them. What do you do when someone on the... Read More
Q. How to guide kids on how to stop eating junk food as much as possible?
A. Nowadays, children are fascinated by the developing world and modern food habits. They prefer to... Read More
Q. What to do when your children make mistakes?
A. When children make mistakes or do something wrong, the proper way would be to ask him in a friendly... Read More
Q. How to discipline a child without yelling? How do you raise a child with good manners and discipline?
A. How to discipline a child or how to raise a child is a parenting art. Knowing how to raise a child... Read More
Q. How to deal with temper tantrums in child?
A. Are you tired of temper tantrums in your child? Well, there are ways to handle your sulking child,... Read More
Q. How to deal with a defiant child or a stubborn child?
A. What should be done when an open clash between you and your child arises? What should be done when... Read More
Q. Which is the good parenting skill to practice in front of a child?
A. Two minds can never be of the same opinion always. So, there will be a difference between views of... Read More
Q. How to stop yelling at your kids? How to stop nagging?
A. At the end of the day, you feel tired that after all the nagging and yelling, nothing has improved.... Read More
Q. What is the role of parents in kids’ education?
A. Kids education is indispensable in today’s world. So, what is parents role in child education?... Read More
Q. How to go about parenting teenagers ?
A. Parents have to take the initiative to fill the gap between the two generations. When the child... Read More
Q. How to teach moral values to children?
A. What is the role of a good parent? They should mold their child in such a way that by the age of... Read More
Q. How to strengthen parent child relationship?
A. A parent child relationship is two-sided. Both parent and child should individually make efforts to... Read More
Q. How much inheritance for your children?
A. You should spend well and not keep too much aside for your children regardless of how much they... Read More
Q. What is the power of prayer for children? How do I pray for kids?
A. We all know that we should not get angry with the child or say hurtful words or scold them or beat... Read More
Q. How to Deal with Teenagers as a Single Parent?
A. Seeking how to deal with teenagers tends to become the only goal of any parent’s life when their... Read More