Is it worth pointing out mistakes in married life?

How many times have you wanted to point out your spouse’s mistakes or experienced the same done to you? How does it feel? Whenever you feel the need to highlight your spouse’s mistakes or indeed anyone’s mistakes, remember how you feel when it is done to you. You do not need someone to point out your own mistakes. When they do so, you feel hurt and to some degree you feel animosity towards them. Sadly, all too often this leads to hostility and conflict creating unhappiness at home.

Do not point out mistakes

Param Pujya Dadashri says, “People’s home lives have become ruined. Life should not be like this. It should be full of love; where there is love, one cannot look at mistakes. If you want to point out your wife’s mistake, you should also be able to make her understand. If you offer her a suggestion by saying ‘Maybe we should do it this way’, she will accept it and be glad you advised her. Some men will kick up a big fuss even over not having sugar in their tea. All I say is ‘For heaven’s sake just drink it in peace’. Surely she will find out when drinks the tea. She will even ask you why you did not ask for any sugar. People do not know how to live their life in the home. One should not, in one’s home, point out anyone’s mistakes. People nevertheless do this, do they not?”

Overlook your spouse’s mistakes

If you can overlook many of your wife’s shortcomings or mistakes, then she will be impressed with you, but instead you accuse her of making mistakes when she makes none. Many men complain about issues regarding women’s responsibilities and chores; it is all unnecessary.

Improve yourself

You should refrain from pointing out other people’s mistakes as the urge stems from your ego and thus will only end up hurting them. They are already cognizant of their mistakes. Instead, keep the intent not to hurt any living being with your thoughts, speech or actions! Do not look at other people’s faults, focus on how to improve yourself and how to come out of your own flaws! Param Pujya Dadashri says, “You have to improve yourself if you want to improve others. No one can be improved. Those who try to improve others are all egotistic. If you improve yourself, the other person will improve without fail”.

Consequences of pointing out mistakes

If they make a mistake and you point it out, what do you get in return?

Take this railroad for example; there are so many different functions going on, so many signals being fed from so many directions, that it is a department all by itself, and therefore mistakes are inevitable. In the same way, there may be mistakes in your wife’s department. But, if you start pointing out these mistakes, she will do the same to you. She will start to complain, “You do not do this,” and “You do not do that.” She will get even with you.