Choosing a life partner is one of the hardest decisions we have to make. When we become old enough to marry, we start to imagine what kind of life partner we will marry. We make a mental list of the kind of character traits and qualities they should have. Therefore, it goes to follow that when we find someone who meets all our criteria then we settle down. The important thing; however is to know how to choose a life partner so that our marriage does not lead to expectations, displeasure and clashes. Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan gives a unique insight on how to choose a life partner.
Dadashri: Would you tolerate it if a person had a bad reputation and had many addictions?
Questioner: Absolutely not.
Dadashri: And what if his character was good but he had an addiction?
Questioner: I would only tolerate it if that addiction were for cigarettes, nothing else.
Dadashri: You are right. Smoking is tolerable. Alcohol is not to be tolerated. You have said well. Good character is very important. Do you believe that?
Questioner: Of course! How can one live without it?
Dadashri: Yes, if Indian girls and women understood just this much, a lot would be accomplished. To understand the importance of character is enough.
Questioner: Our noble thinking has developed as a result of reading good literature.
Dadashri: Very good. I am pleased. Deception and insincerity is rampant everywhere. You do not see this but I can see everything. Wherever there is insincerity, there can never be happiness. You should remain sincere. When you get married, you should accept whatever mistakes the other person had made prior to the marriage and after that both of you should remain sincere to each other. You should not look at anyone else after your marriage. Once you are married, you must remain sincere, whether you like it or not. Do you not remain sincere to your mother, even when you do not like her? Are you not sincere to her even when she has disagreeable traits?
When it comes to choosing a life partner, we would prefer to marry someone who is good looking; however, we should not judge the character of person by their looks. If we have to live with them for the rest of our life, then inner beauty and character is just as important if not more, than outer beauty, is it not?
Param Pujya Dadashri says, “A daughter of a follower refused to marry a well-educated boy her parents had painstakingly found for her and felt that he was ideal. They both liked him very much and when she refused to marry him, it upset them tremendously. In his frustration, the father came to me and I told him that I would speak to his daughter. I asked her why she did not like the boy, and whether it was because of his size or his height. She said that it was because his complexion was a little dark. I told her that if that was the only problem, she should go ahead and consent to him and that I would make him fair. She even confronted her father why he had come all the way to complain to me. What else could the poor man do?
After she got married, one day I asked her whether she wanted me to order some special soap to make his complexion fair and she replied that it was not necessary and that he was already fair enough. There was no need for her to be so overly concerned about his complexion. I thought he was a fine boy. How could they let go of such a nice boy?”
What if my parents choose a wrong life partner for me?
While choosing a life partner for you, your parents have your best interests at heart. They would never intentionally do anything to make their children unhappy. Therefore, you should not doubt your parents. Despite this, if something goes wrong in your marriage, then it is your destiny, that which you have brought with you from your past life. You can understand more about the vast science behind karma here.
A. Param Pujya Dadashri and Hiraba’s married life was full of peace, mutual respect and humility. Their worldly conduct and interactions were idyllic so much...Read More
A. When you get married you create an ideal marriage in your mind, ‘My marriage will be like this and like that’, but gradually your picture of an ideal...Read More
A. People lack ability to solve problems with their spouses and when clashes occur, they fall deeper into confusion. Instead, the more you understand, the...Read More
A. Often in our day-to-day life, we attend workshops and seminars to help us learn how to interact with others in the professional world and how to develop...Read More
A. In married life, sooner or later, there may arise a situation when you have to handle your angry wife. Being emotionally closest to her, you strive to make...Read More
A. Nagging – the constant prodding – at one’s spouse is a common complaint in marriage. Typically, the husband complains that the wife keeps nagging him and...Read More
A. You should be conscious that you do not put yourself or your spouse in financial difficulty. You should live within your means. Decide from the very...Read More
A. In our everyday lives differences occur. The source of such differences arise from a difference in opinion of how things or people are or should be....Read More
A. Divorce is rampant nowadays and thus you might also be thinking, 'Should I get a divorce?' 'Is divorce the key to gaining back my peace of mind?' The truth...Read More
A. How many times have you wanted to point out your spouse’s mistakes or experienced the same done to you? How does it feel? Whenever you feel the need to...Read More
A. Often times when interacting with your spouse you hurt them knowingly or unknowingly with your behavior, your speech or even think negatively about them in...Read More
A. As soon as the ideal age of getting married approaches, people have lots of questions and confusions in their mind like, "Should I get married or should we...Read More