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I have big row with my wife, who is at fault?

Questioner : Some people just do not understand, no matter how nicely you interact with them.

Dadashri:  If they do not understand, then the fault is yours. Why did you get such a person with limited understanding? Why is it that only you had to have an encounter with such a person? Anytime you have to suffer, know that it is the consequence of your own mistakes.

Questioner : So do I have to accept that such is my own karma?

Dadashri: Definitely. If there is no mistake on your part, you will not have to suffer anything. There is nobody in this world that can hurt you in the slightest but if someone does, then it is because of your own mistake. The other person is simply instrumental in the process of your own unfolding karma. Therefore, the fault is of the sufferer.

A husband and wife get into a big row with each other and then retire to bed. The wife is sleeping soundly and snores while the husband tosses and turns in bed. Understand that the husband is the one at fault because he is the one suffering, not the wife. The one who is at fault is the one who suffers. If he falls asleep and the wife cannot, then recognize that she is the one at fault. Fault is of the sufferer.

This science is extraordinary. What I am telling you is a very subtle science. The whole world blames only the apparent doer (nimit).

Related Quotes:

1) If you have difference of opinions, that is your weakness. People are not wrong. No one does anything deliberately. You should ask for forgiveness and accept that you are at fault. We should ask for forgiveness that I am at fault.

2) There are worldly judges everywhere in this world, but there is only one judge of karma (deeds), the "fault is of the sufferer"! This is the only justice, on which the whole world is running, and the worldly life continues to stand on the illusory justice.

Did You Know:

There is a book named "The fault is of the sufferer"- Read on to understand the science behind it.

Reference:
Book Name : Life without conflict (Page #69 Paragraph #2, #3, #4, #5, #6 & #7)
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

  1. Q. What is true suffering?

    A. Questioner: Definition of Suffering Dadashri: True unhappiness is when you are hungry and you do not get any food to eat for hours on end; it is when you... Read More

  2. Q. How to handle children?

    A. Questioner: Dada, my children misbehave at home. My scolding has no effect on them. Dadashri:  Have you ever noticed the writing on some packages shipped... Read More

  3. Q. Words hurt children … so how to deal with children?

    A. Dadashri: In the current times, there is nothing better than speaking as little as possible. Today the words that come out hurt people like rocks. This... Read More

  4. Q. How to reprimand or scold children for their improvement?

    A. Questioner: How can I tell whether I have improved? Dadashri: When others see love in you even when you reprimand and scold them. Even if you reprimand... Read More

  5. Q. The other person comes to pick a fight, what should I do?

    A. Questioner : What should we do if we do not want to get into a conflict but the other person comes to pick a fight? Say one is very careful and aware, and... Read More

  6. Q. What is the ultimate solution to conflict between man and woman?

    A. Dadashri: Man has to marry for his food! He may think to himself, 'I am the bread winner,' but who will do the cooking? The woman knows that although she... Read More

  7. Q. How conflicts can be resolved?

    A. Dadashri: The one who learns the art of adjusting is the one who has turned towards the path of liberation. To have made an adjustment is Gnan. The one who... Read More

  8. Q. How do I deal with difficult spouse?

    A. Dadashri: It would be a different matter if after quarreling with your wife; you would have nothing to do with her. However, you  have no choice, you will... Read More

  9. Q. What is the importance of 'True Intent' in resolving conflicts?

    A. Questioner : What should we do when we know that despite our efforts to compromise to reach a settlement with the other person, the outcome is going to be... Read More

  10. Q. What should be the Goal of Life?

    A. Dadashri: Why do you conduct your business? Questioner : To earn money. Dadashri : Money for what? Questioner : That I do not know. Dadashri : Let me... Read More

  11. Q. What is Ideal Business and what are its Limits?

    A. Questioner : What is ideal Business? Dadashri: The best kind of business is one where there is no violence or harm against other living entity through the... Read More

  12. Q. Be Aware of the Dangers in Business but Be Fearless.

    A. Dadashri: Every business has gains and losses associated with it. If there are a lot of mosquitoes in your room, they will not let you sleep. But, you... Read More

  13. Q. Today if a person tries to do business honestly, his business Incurs a loss, why is that?

    A. Questioner : Today if a person tries to do business honestly, his business  Incurs a loss, why is that? Dadashri: When you do your work honestly you will... Read More

  14. Q. I have a lot of worries about my business. How to stop worrying?

    A. Questioner : I have a lot of worries about my business. I am faced with a lot of difficulties. Dadashri: Understand this much. Understand that the moment... Read More

  15. Q. No customers no business, what should I do?

    A. Customers: Who Brings Them? Questioner : I open my shop early and close late in order to attract more customers, is this right? Dadashri: Who are you to... Read More

  16. Q. We have lot of money but no peace at home?

    A. Questioner : Does the quarreling have anything to do with the kind of money people have? Dadashri:  That is the very cause. If the money is pure, the mind... Read More

  17. Q. Keep Your Intentions Pure To Pay All Debts

    A. Questioner : I have incurred a very heavy loss in my business, what should I do? Should I close the business? I am in deep debt. Dadashri:  Losses... Read More

  18. Q. How dangerous is the Abuse of Power?

    A. Some with power and authority will oppress those under them. The one who abuses his power will lose it. He will also lose his right to be born as a human... Read More

  19. Q. Why to protect your subordinates?

    A. People criticize and attack their subordinates. You fools! Why don't you attack your boss? That is where your victory counts! Such are the interactions of... Read More


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