Questioner: How can I tell whether I have improved?
Dadashri: When others see love in you even when you reprimand and scold them. Even if you reprimand your child, he will see love in you. You can reprimand your children, but do so with love, only then will they improve. If a college professor were to reprimand his students, they would beat him up.
Your efforts should be aimed for the betterment of the other person, but any effort that causes a reaction, should be avoided. If you rebuke someone and he or she feels bad, then that effort is not worthy. Your efforts should be made from within, in a subtle manner. If your overt efforts are futile, you should make the efforts from within. If you do not want to reprimand at length, then do so in few words Just tell him, "Son this does not suit us (as a family)."' Say only this much and then keep quiet. You have to say something, but you must know the proper way to say it.
1) One is not to win the world, he has to win the home (family).
2) A father will not keep looking for faults in his children if he is very religious/pious. One should not see faults in a prakruti(relative self). When one does that, it reaches the God within that prakruti. Prakruti is predetermined, it is vyavasthit(result of scientific circumstantial evidence).