Dadashri: It would be a different matter if after quarreling with your wife; you would have nothing to do with her. However, you have no choice, you will have to get along with her so all the quarreling is useless and wrong. I am always aware of the fact that after an hour or two, we will have to speak with each other and therefore I do not harp on anything. It is a different matter if your opinion will never need to be changed and if you were never to sit with your wife again, then your quarreling is correct. But here, you have to sit and dine with her the very next day, so of what use is all the drama between the two of you? Will you not have to think about this? Instead, what people do is cook the seeds before they sow them and so all their effort is in vain. Whenever you are quarreling, you must maintain awareness that it is your past karma that makes you dance. Therefore, you must settle all this 'dancing' through your Gnan.
1) Not allowing discord even for a minute, that is true husband. Just as the relation with a friend we do not let ruined, one should be equally careful with the wife. Our friendship with a friend will end if we do not protect it.
2) Problem does not lie in being a husband; the problem is with acting as a husband (being bossy).
3) When is one considered to have learnt to become a husband? It is when the wife continuously experiences veneration (respect) for him.
If there is no intent of hostility left within you, then the other person will not have any intent of hostility towards you either. If you do not get annoyed or angry, neither will they.
Man runs around in vain chasing illusionary happiness and when his wife turns against him, he realizes that this worldly life is not meant for enjoyment or indulging in. Yet, he forgets this fact again the very next moment! Because of this illusion he takes such a beating, it renders him completely oblivious to the reality.
Your energies will grow in proportion with the amount of adjustments you make; your weakness will break by that much.
The Lord has said, "If you improve, then everything else will improve in your presence."
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