Questioner: But many conflicts arise because of the words I use.
Dadashri: It is because of words that this world has come into existence. When words come to an end, so will the world.
Words have been the cause of all the wars in the world. Words must be sweet or else they should not be spoken. You can become one with someone again even after you have fought with that person, if you use sweet words to assuage him.
Some people tell their elders that they have no sense. How can one say such a thing? Who are they to assess commonsense in others? Such words will inevitably create conflicts. You should not say anything that would hurt others because you will be held liable for it. People who understand this will not take on such a liability; instead they will always say the right thing, whereas those who lack this understanding speak recklessly, taking on the liability. The responsibility is yours.
By telling a person, "You do not understand," you create the worst of the knowledge-deluding karmas (gnanavaran). You cannot make such a statement because it hurts the other person. Instead you can say, "I will help you understand."
If you are sitting peacefully and someone comes and says to you, "You have no sense," these words will shatter your peace of mind and you will feel hurt, but it is not as if he has thrown a rock at you!
Words have a tremendous impact in this world. The scars they leave behind cannot be erased for hundreds of lifetimes. People say their hearts have been wounded by words. This is nothing but the effect of words and this world perpetuates because of these effects.
Some women tell me they still bear scars on their heart from what their husbands said to them twenty or thirty years ago. What kind of a 'rock' did these men throw with their speech that the wound has not healed even now? Such wounds should not be inflicted.
In our culture, people of lower caste use physical violence to hurt one another, while those of higher castes use words to hurt one another.
Words, which hurt others, are called inappropriate words. People take on a grave liability when they use such words, even casually. On the other hand when they employ pleasant words casually they are beneficial. People are not brave enough to use inappropriate language with a policeman or someone with authority for fear of being reprimanded, but they use it freely at home, because they are not afraid of the consequences. The policeman would indeed teach you a lesson, but who would teach you a lesson at home? Should we not learn a new lesson?
1) A person who hears you call him 'worthless' is bound to be hurt, but also the resulting consequences and its different phases will bring you a lot of unhappiness. When you say something positive about another person, you will feel peace within you and your spoken words will give peace to the other person also.
2) Words can soothe or aggravate a person. Therefore, they are all effective. All effective things are inanimate. The Self is beyond effects. Anything that is temporary is effective.
Book Name : Science of speech ( Page #1 last line, Entire Page #2 and Page #3 Paragraph #1,#2 )