If a human, would not interfere in the flow of his life, it would run very smoothly. But unfortunately that is not the case and so one does nothing but interfere constantly from the moment one wakes up.
Most people quarrel about little trivial things. For instance a woman may complain to her husband that he does not rock the baby who has been crying in the cradle. The husband makes the remark, "Did I have to rock the baby when he was in your womb? Now that he is out, you have to tend to it."
Now tell me, what would this woman do if she was not submissive?
Questioner: What do you mean when you say that one should not interfere? Does it mean that we should leave everything at home haphazard, even when there are many people in the household?
Dadashri: You should not interfere nor should you leave things haphazardly.
Questioner: How can that be possible?
Dadashri: How can you interfere? There is interference because of the ego. It is the ego's madness!
Questioner: If work needs to be done in the house, can we tell someone to do it?
Dadashri: Yes, but there are ways of saying it.
Questioner: You mean we should not become emotional while saying it?
Dadashri: At other times you even speak to him sweetly so that he understands you even before you are finished?
Questioner: What should I do about the strong and abrasive language?
Dadashri: Harsh language is itself interference! If you have harsh speech then you have to use additional words like, "I request you to ..…" or "I am asking you to please do this much." Before you go on, you have to use words like these.
Questioner: When we say, for example, "Hey, take this plate from here," or in a more gentle way …the force behind the way we say it…
Dadashri: You are only interfering when you say it with authority in your tone.
Questioner: So we must speak gently.
Dadashri: It is fine to speak in a gentle tone, but even then some people will still interfere. Instead you should say, "I am asking you to please do this much for me!" Include a few extra words.
1) If you want to improve your speech you must stop using hurtful speech towards others. You can also improve your speech if you do not see faults in others and if you avoid conflicts.
2) "Dada, please reside in all your glory on my vocal cords!" Ask Dada for this and your speech will improve. Even doing Dada's niddidhyasan (visual contemplation) on your vocal cords, will improve your speech.
3) As soon as you realize that you have lied, you must immediately ask for forgiveness from 'Dada' by saying, "Dada I do not want to tell a lie and yet I did. Please forgive me. I will not lie again." If it happens again, do not worry, just continue to ask for forgiveness. If you do this your mistakes will not be 'recorded'. They will not go on record if you ask for forgiveness.
Book Name : Science of speech ( Page #48 Paragraph #5,#6 ; Entire Page #49 ; Page #50 Paragraph #1 )
A. Questioner: But many conflicts arise because of the words I use. Dadashri: It is because of words that this world has come into existence. When words come... Read More
A. Questioner : What should we do when we have a big argument at home? Dadashri : A wise person would not get into an argument even if he were offered a... Read More
A. Questioner : How can you interact with children on their level? Is it by becoming like them? Dadashri: Do you act like a child in order to interact with... Read More
A. Questioner : Children here are very argumentative and when we talk to them, they tell us, 'Why are you lecturing us?' Dadashri: Yes, they argue a lot.... Read More
A. Questioner: Should we not say anything even if he is lying or doing something wrong? Dadashri: Yes you can caution him. Tell him, "It would be better if... Read More
A. Questioner: What should I do in my business when I become angry with someone who does not understand? Dadashri: In a business it is important to speak up... Read More
A. Questioner : If someone says something insulting, how should we deal with it? How should we maintain equanimity? Dadashri : What does our Gnan say? First... Read More
A. Dadashri: So how do you like it when people quarrel? You don't even like it when dogs fight. All this quarrelling is the result of past karmas.... Read More
A. Questioner: What should we do when we do not know how to speak? Should we remain silent? Dadashri: Keep silent and watch what transpires. What do you do... Read More