Dadashri: So how do you like it when people quarrel? You don't even like it when dogs fight.
All this quarrelling is the result of past karmas. Nevertheless, you must refrain from saying anything wrong. Keep the matter inside you and restrain yourself in your speech, whether you are at home or outside. Many women claim that they would rather have their husbands slap them than say hurtful things to them. Just imagine the kind of speech that does not physically touch a person but wounds him deeply.
Man can be so awkward. Away from his home a man says very little, but when he is at home he wants to deliberately exert his authority as a husband. Later in his old age he pays for his aggression, when his wife does not heed him. Why not just stay within your limits? People should not quarrel in their homes, and if they want to they should take it outside. Women should do the same.
Questioner: Would it still be considered a conflict-free home if although a person does not say anything, he harbors everything in his mind.
Dadashri: That is a greater conflict. There will always be discord when the mind is unsettled and when a person says, "my mind feels uneasy," it is a sign of conflict. Conflict varies in intensity. The more intense types of conflict could even produce heart attacks in some people. Some people have such a way of speaking that it can shock someone and stop the heart momentarily.
1) External conflicts lasts one life and Internal conflicts may last for hundreds of life times. They may even last for thousands of life times.
2) When you walk around with a long face in the house;, that is called conflict.
If I decide that, 'I want to speak words that will hurt no living being, no religion and the foundation of any religion', such intentions will produce syaadvaad speech (speech that hurts no one).
1) Read more on "Live a happy married life : Resolve Conflicts in marriage"
2) Get insights on "Avoid Clashes : For a Conflict Free Life"
Book Name : Science of speech ( Page #51 Paragraph #2 onwards )
A. Questioner: But many conflicts arise because of the words I use. Dadashri: It is because of words that this world has come into existence. When words come... Read More
A. If a human, would not interfere in the flow of his life, it would run very smoothly. But unfortunately that is not the case and so one does nothing but... Read More
A. Questioner : What should we do when we have a big argument at home? Dadashri : A wise person would not get into an argument even if he were offered a... Read More
A. Questioner : How can you interact with children on their level? Is it by becoming like them? Dadashri: Do you act like a child in order to interact with... Read More
A. Questioner : Children here are very argumentative and when we talk to them, they tell us, 'Why are you lecturing us?' Dadashri: Yes, they argue a lot.... Read More
A. Questioner: Should we not say anything even if he is lying or doing something wrong? Dadashri: Yes you can caution him. Tell him, "It would be better if... Read More
A. Questioner: What should I do in my business when I become angry with someone who does not understand? Dadashri: In a business it is important to speak up... Read More
A. Questioner : If someone says something insulting, how should we deal with it? How should we maintain equanimity? Dadashri : What does our Gnan say? First... Read More
A. Questioner: What should we do when we do not know how to speak? Should we remain silent? Dadashri: Keep silent and watch what transpires. What do you do... Read More