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What causes anger in relationship?

Questioner: What is the main reason behind a man's anger?

Dadashri: He loses sight. When one does not see the wall, he bumps into it. In the same way, he cannot see from within, which is why anger occurs. When he cannot see what lies ahead of him, anger overcomes him.

When does anger take place? It is when one's vision (darshan) becomes obscured, and his knowledge (gnan) is obstructed, that his anger arises. The same happens when a person is overcome with pride.

Questioner: Please illustrate this point with an example.

Dadashri: Do people not ask you why you get angry? You would tell them that it was because you could not think clearly. Yes it is when people cannot think clearly that they get angry. Would they get angry if they were able to think? How are you rewarded when you get angry? First the sparks set you on fire and then you burn others.

Related Science:

1) When does anger take place? It is when one's vision (darshan) becomes obscured, and his knowledge (gnan) is obstructed, that his anger arises. The same happens when a person is overcome with pride.

2) If a car is coming head on to you, will you get angry or will you move out of the way? Would you crash with the car? You are aware of the consequences. But when you get angry, the internal destruction is much greater. The external destruction is obvious to you, but you are not aware of the internal destruction.

3) If you become angry with your son, your bhaav (intention) should be, 'This should not happen.' This means that you have changed negative meditation into positive meditation. Although you were angry, the result turns positive internally because you have changed your true inner intent.

Reference:

Book Name: Anger (Page #6, Page #7 Paragraph #1)

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

  1. Q. How to deal with anger in a relationship?

    A. Anger itself is the ego. One must examine why this is so. Once we look into it, we will be able to... Read More

  2. Q. How to deal with anger in husband wife relationship ?

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  3. Q. Why do I get angry at workplace?

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  4. Q. How to deal with angry people?

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  5. Q. Why children favor their mother over their father?

    A. Questioner: Reasonable annoyance or reasonable anger, is it not good? Dadashri: What do people... Read More

  6. Q. How to discipline child?

    A. Questioner: Some people have belief that children must be beaten up (hit) to keep them in line or... Read More

  7. Q. Show anger but dramatic

    A. A bank manager once said to me, 'Dadaji, I have never said a single word to my wife or my children,... Read More

  8. Q. What is anger? What is annoyance?

    A. Questioner: Dada what is the difference between annoyance and anger? Dadashri: Anger is associated... Read More

  9. Q. How to get rid of anger?

    A. At one time people were taught to have compassion, practice fairness and forgiveness, but nowadays... Read More


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