Speak in such a manner that the other person's ego does not arise. Whenever you say anything to your child, your voice should not be authoritative.
Questioner : Yes, you had said that we should stop talking before the other person shuts us out.
Dadashri : Yes that is true. You should stop before you get shut out. It is foolishness to persist to the point where he does not heed you anymore. It should not be like that. I have never used an authoritative voice. Only when children are very young can one use authority in their voice. Even in such a situation, I show only love towards them. I win them with love.
Questioner : The power of love is greater than the power of authority, right?
Dadashri : Yes, but you can only love when all your other weaknesses go away. Children have good hearts. You should be kind to them. You can interfere with those who have a lot of intellect but not with those who are sincere and hearty. When you plant something you have to nurture it and care for it. You cannot keep yelling at it and demand that it better bring forth big flowers. When even a rosebush thrives with love, what about humans? But these parents beat and abuse their own children!
The world always improves through love. There is no other solution for it. If it could improve through fear, intimidation and repression, then these governments would get rid of democracy and imprison whoever breaks the law and hang him.
Book Name: Pure Love (Page #32 - Paragraphs #7,#8,#9; Page #35 - Paragraphs #1,#2,#3,#4,#5)