Should we find understanding of other people?
Some people tell their elders that they have no sense. How can one say such a thing? Who are they to assess commonsense in others? Such words will inevitably create conflicts. You should not say anything that would hurt others because you will be held liable for it. People who understand this will not take on such a liability; instead they will always say the right thing, whereas those who lack this understanding speak recklessly, taking on the liability. The responsibility is yours.
One should not speak that 'You do not understand.' Instead we should tell him that, 'Brother please just think, at least think a little please.' If we say, '(you) don't understand' then are all these people stupid? Do people speak like this or not?
Questioner: These intellectual people speak like this only that, 'He doesn't understand.'
Dadashri: yes, They speak such things. To tell someone that, 'you will not understand' that is the biggest gnanavaraniya karma. One should not say that, 'you will not understand', but one should say that, ' i will make you understand.' If you say that 'you will not understand' then it will hurt the person.
Reference: Book Name: Science of Speech (Page #385 - Paragraph #1 to #4)
Encouragement through positive vision
Always take the positive in this world. Do not go towards the negative. There is a solution (upaya) for the positive. If I tell you that you are smart, and if your ego gets excessively encouraged, then I know when to ‘slap’ it gently. Otherwise, it will get on the wrong track and, if we do not encourage it, then it will not even progress.
Whether we call him stupid or smart, either way he will get spoiled. The reason we call him ‘smart’ is so his ego gets encouragement; and if we call him ‘stupid’ then it will have a reverse psychological effect on him. If you tell a good person he is foolish and mad fifty times or so, then he will begin to doubt himself, ‘May be I really am foolish!’ In thinking this way, he will become mad. That is why I give encouragement even to a mad person by telling him, ‘Nobody in this world is as good and wise as you are.’
Do not call anyone stupid in this world. Only say they are smart or they are nice, then your work will get done. One man was telling his water buffalo, ‘You are very nice, dear. You are very smart and understanding.’ I asked him, ‘Why are you saying this to the buffalo?’ He said to me, ‘She will stop giving me milk if I do not say this.’ If a water buffalo can understand this then why would humans not understand?
Reference: Dadavani Magazine Sep 2009 (Page #23 - Paragraph #2 to #5)
Effects of negative words
One man was thinking and he had a doubt in his mind that he was incurring a loss everyday since almost a year in his shop and besides his accountant had started stealing. Therefore this shop will not remain. An intelligent person would know this quickly and less intelligent person would know this later. An intelligent person would calculate fast that this shop will get bankrupt. This is because he decides in his mind that this shop is getting bankruptcy, this decision came. So then this word will continue to affect him until that word does not leave. That is why what I am saying to you that whatever thought arises in your mind, forward it to me. Go to Dada. Otherwise everything will affect you. One word is very effective. These things are effective, they give rise to effects, so do not become involved with them. When I get fever, I never say that ‘I have a fever.’ If I say that, then I will have effect.
Don’t people say that ‘My brain does not work’! Let it alone, you fool! Did you say like this? ‘My brain does not work at all,’ he will say. Then you will feel burden all the time and because of that it (brain) will stop slowly and slowly. You uttered and signed. So then you redirect to Dada, no problem.
Questioner: You showed the best thing to redirect.
Dadashri: Yes. But, send it to me. I am telling everybody same thing that send everything to me. Load is likely to come to you. This load will come to you because you are a human being. Just redirect it to Me.
Reference: Dadavani Magazine Sep 2009 (Page #15 - Paragraph #9, Page #16 - Paragraph #1 to #4)