How to win when someone comes to defeat me? What is the best way to win?

Let others win

You have done nothing but the same thing over and over again in countless past lives. Now it will change because of the presence of Gnan, but not otherwise. This Gnan can show You (the enlightened Self) your mistakes! And You will believe and accept that the fault lies with you, whereas there (in the Kramic path) you have to ask someone else. Besides, what competence and aptitude does he have himself that he can show you? You yourself must ‘feel’ that the fault is indeed yours. So there is no need to win. ‘We’ have always maintained this. ‘We’ have never kept the principle of winning. I would let others win and then leave. And then I will forget about it. He too will get preoccupied with something else. Now if I were to send him away defeated, he will harbor the link (tanto) of kashaya and not let go. So just let the other person win and let him go.

Questioner: Yes, ‘I lose and you win, my brother.’

Dadashri: You should not say this openly to him, otherwise he will think, ‘Oh ho ho! He has calmed down. This is great. This is how it should be.’

Questioner: What happens if you say this to him openly?

Dadashri: If you tell him this openly, he will start a dispute (tante chaddhe), ‘I don’t want to win this way.’ One man did tell me this once. I said to him, ‘Sir, I sit here defeated. You have won so go home and sleep peacefully.’ He told me, ‘I do not want it this way.’ I said to him, ‘Do not try to extract any sweetness out of this situation.’ This is how he enters into a dispute (tant). If you say this, he will move that way, and if you say that, he will move this way. The world is full of objections and obstacles. Other people want to create objections and obstacles whereas we remove whatever objections and obstacles there may be.

Reference: Book Excerpt: Aptavani 9 (Page #397 - Paragraph #2 to #6, Page #398 - Paragraph #1)

The escape from the racecourse

Now all this (competitiveness) is going to carry on for sure. One is not at all the doer of anything; he has simply developed a habit of tasting the fruit of doership (garvaras).When a person learns that someone earns eight hundred rupees, he thinks, ‘I earn eighteen hundred so I do not have a problem. He gets only eight hundred.’ This is how it all starts. As if no one earns more than eighteen hundred rupees. There is always competition where there is someone higher. What possible reason do we have for staying in this race course? Are we here to take part in a ‘racecourse’? Are we horses of the racecourse? Instead, why not simply admit that you have no sense? I say, ‘I do not have sense. I lack worldly understanding.’ I am being very candid, am I not?

I do not even know how to shave and that is why I cut myself shaving. I have yet to meet a man who knows how to shave. What ego people walk around with! Only someone like me would make such a statement, would he not? There is a whole world out there, and here I am all alone with this vision (of laghutam). There is no one to give my vision the vote. I am the only one with this vote, against the race course and that is why I am not raising my voice. I would remain quiet because I am the only one voting (on the side of laghutam). Otherwise who would caution you this way? Why would I sit here to caution you? So, what a world one is trapped in?

Do you like to listen to all this talk? You are not bored are you? Do not try to analyze this. Just accept it as it is, otherwise the liability will fall upon you. This is a pure thing; this knowledge is pure, why do you have to analyze it with your intellect? That is why I say it very clearly; ‘We’ do not understand anything in worldly matters’. Only then will everyone leave ‘us’ alone! Only then can I be free of all worldly possessions!

Reference: Book Excerpt: Aptavani 9 (Page #380 - Paragraph #4 & #5, Page #381 - Paragraph #1 & #2)