A bank manager once said to me, 'Dadaji, I have never said a single word to my wife or my children, no matter what they say or do wrong, I do not say anything.' He looked so self-assured, thinking that perhaps I would applaud him for his nobility. But instead I said, 'Who on the earth made you the manager of a bank. You do not even know how to manage your own family!' He was shocked. I told him, 'You are the ultimate fool. You are not worth anything in this world.' He thought that Dada would be very happy with him and reward him. The fool! Can there be a reward for this? When your child does something wrong, you have to say to him, 'Why did you do that. Do not do it again.' You have to say it in a make- believe way; as if you meant it (show emotions without being emotional) otherwise he will think that whatever he is doing is fine because by not saying anything, his father has accepted it. Children fall apart because you do not say anything to them. You have to tell them everything but it has to be in a 'dramatic' manner. You have to sit him down at night and talk to him, explain things to him. Children need to be shaken up a little, now and then. Although they have some good qualities, you have to shake them a little. Is there anything wrong in doing so?
So maintain normality in everything, maintain love in one eye and sternness in the other. Sternness does not cause as much harm to others as anger. Sternness is just the show of anger without the hurting others. I too had to be stern with my workers and ask them, 'Why are you not working?' Certain situations require that you deal with them in a certain manner. You must act according to the demand of the situation. In worldly interactions appropriate response is required depending on the situation. If such response is lacking the interaction becomes spoiled.
Dadavani Magazine October 2011 (Page #18 and Page #19)
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