Why does taking care of elderly parents at home matter?

The prime service in this world, if any, is that of serving our parents. In Indian culture, service to parents is given paramount importance. If one serves their parents wholeheartedly, they will never suffer in life, they will always be in peace. Not only that, helping parents also brings material comfort in life. Taking care of elderly parents at home surely brings progress in worldly life, but furthermore, it is also helpful in spiritual development and liberation as well…

Param Pujya Dadashri says in just one sentence that children who serve their parents will never fall short of money and their every need shall be fulfilled! He says, “A person who does not serve his parents will not be happy in this life. What is an example of the obvious benefit of serving one’s parents? It is that you will not face any misery throughout your entire life. By serving your parents, you will not even have any difficulties [in life]!” Hence, he urges the people of every age to take care of their parents.

Taking care of elderly parents at home with the intention of gaining money or procuring material comforts is not a true service. Parents should be served wholeheartedly. But most people serve their parents reluctantly, as a matter of force to fulfil their duty. Or else they do it due to societal pressure, peer pressure or even the fear of casting a bad impression among people.

Service to parents gives immediate and tangible rewards. When we serve our parents from the bottom of our hearts, we progress in worldly life, and it also brings along lifelong happiness, peace and prosperity.

We are not able to see God outside, but our parents are right in front of us. The living God resides within them. Only those with good fortune get an opportunity to serve their parents, which is why one should serve them with complete admiration.

Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says, “To serve your parents is a moral duty (dharma). No matter what kind of [karmic] account there is, yet you should serve them; that is your moral duty. To whatever extent you fulfill your moral duty that much happiness arises within you. The elderly will receive service, and along with that happiness arises within you. If you give happiness to your parents, then happiness will arise within you. The people who make their parents happy are never unhappy at all.”

The innumerable favours of parents

From the moment the child is born and until they grow up, parents only are serving their children. They feed them, they change their diapers in the middle of the night, they stay up all night and take care of the children when they fall ill. As the child grows, parents educate them, nurture them; provide them with school fees, tuition fees, books, clothes and even their own vehicle. They feed them food of their choice, and buy them things that they like. In every aspect, while raising their children, parents sacrifice their personal needs and desires to give children the best.

If someone does us a tiny little favour, we remember that for a lifetime and seek ways to repay it. Suppose on the day of the exam, our car’s tyre gets punctured. Now, we are very tense as we are likely to reach late for the exam, but just then, when one of our neighbours gives us a ride and helps us reach the examination hall just in time, we remember that kindness for a lifetime. We extend them help whenever they’re in need. Then, why do we forget the countless favors that our own parents have done for us throughout our life? Parents have taken so much care of us right from the time we were born up to the time we’ve grown big enough, then shouldn’t we take care of them when they grow old?

We should not miss out on taking care of elderly parents at home who have spent half of their life raising us and instilling good values in us. Remembering the favors of our parents, we must surely serve them in their old age. We must ensure that they do not face any inconvenience and that they never have to face any sort of financial, mental or physical difficulty.

Lot of helplessness in old age

Nowadays, very few people take care of parents wholeheartedly. Parents sacrifice everything for their children, and those very children shun their parents. They kick out their old parents for the sake of their selfish pleasures or enjoying their freedom. The children worldwide should understand how to take care of their aging parents.

Parents take care of four children singlehandedly, they raise them nicely; and when the parents grow old, not even one of the four children is able to care for them, this deeply pains the parents’ heart. If ever, the responsibility of taking care of elderly parents at home is on us, we should never complain about why our other brothers and sisters are not taking care of them. Rather, if we serve them considering ourselves to be fortunate to have been granted the opportunity to take care of our parents, then such a feeling makes them feel at home and it makes us happy as well.

Old age means the beginning of a new childhood. We should be able to understand the suffering that our elderly parents go through when their body aches, when they are unable to speak, they feel uneasy, and cannot sleep. Regardless of our parents’ nature, in their old age, we should adjust positively and serve them with patience. At that time, if we speak to them harshly or malign our mind, it hurts them very deeply. Yet, when taking care of elderly parents at home, if our mind gets maligned or we act with irritation, then we should seek forgiveness. When the responsibility of serving our aging parents comes onto us, we should consider it as a blessed opportunity and should decide to serve them wholeheartedly. Law states that whatever we decide, accordingly such mental, physical, and financial strength gets invoked within.

Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan says, “The worldly interaction that contemptuously rejects one’s own dharma, which even contemptuously rejects the relationship with one’s parents, how can that be referred to as dharma?” No matter how many religious activities we may do externally, but if we fail to serve our parents, then we are missing our duty (dharma) as a child. True religion embraces every relationship with an ideal conduct.

If you serve others, you will be served

Many parents often complain that their children don’t take care of them. But those parents should analyze, did we serve our parents? The values we live by are the very values that are passed down to our children. We must certainly help parents. If we fail to take care of parents, then our children will also learn the same.

Family members fight among each other due to their ego or due to their attachment towards money or inherited property, or at times, due to the attachment of their children. When in the presence of their children, the parents fight with their family members, or fight among themselves, accuse each other, then children also learn the same. Later, these parents complain, “Why aren’t my children listening to me?” But since childhood, the children have been seeing this itself, and hence that behaviour gets ingrained in them.

If we keep fighting instead of taking care of elderly parents at home, our in-laws, and elders at home, then children also learn to do the same when they grow up. As they observe, they also note, “My parents are acting in this manner, which means it’s the right thing to do, I should also do the same.” Later, when they’ve grown up, even if we tell them a thousand times, they will not understand; but yes, if we do it and show, they will instantly grasp that.

Once an incident occurred. A young boy was collecting broken pottery shards. When his mother saw him do this, she asked, “Son, why are you gathering these shards?” So, the son replied, “You serve food to grandparents in the pottery shards. So, when I grow up, I also shall serve you food in these pottery shards. Hence, I am collecting them now.” Hearing this, the mother realized her mistake and she decided that from now on, I shall serve my in-laws with love, dignity and respect.

If we have served our parents without bitterness, with true devotion, then any obstacles with regards to our children serving us, will also disappear. Children will observe and learn that, “My parents have served my grandparents so well; I too will take care of them when I grow up.”