Questioner : But seeing all this sends shivers down my body. It is also amazing that, despite daily quarrels, husband or wife does not feel like coming up with a solution, is it not?
Dadashri: This has been going on for so many years, ever since they got married. They quarrel on one hand and continue to have sex with each other on the other hand. That is why I have said that both should take the vow of brahmacharya, and then your life would be of the highest quality. All the fights are for selfish reasons. She knows that he is not going to go anywhere away from her. He too knows that she is not going to go away from him. Thus the relationship survives only to serve each other's selfish needs. Everything remains, the fights and the sex, unchanged.
Misery of dependency on sex is greater than the transient happiness derived from it. When one realizes this, he will be free from the false infatuation and vice grip of sex. It is then only that he would impress females. Otherwise they feel that they can play with him through the medium of sexuality. The impression of this nature gradually leads to an aura of awe and respect. Thereafter they leave him alone. Otherwise, even the greatest of spiritual men in this world have suffered at the hands of women and their sexual ploy. Only the vitarags, the liberated ones have understood this, as is. It is because of their aura of purity that women stayed away from them. Otherwise women carry so much power that they can make any man helplessly subordinate to them in no time. This is the nature, sexual character of women. You must stay away from women. You must not try and deceive them otherwise you yourself will come under their deception. And this web of misery has been happening for many lives.
When a woman pushes her husband around and scolds him repeatedly, what is the reason behind it? It is because the man is deeply passionate about sexual gratification. Woman does not push him around just because she feeds him food; she does so because of sex. No woman would push a man around if he were not interested in sex. She takes advantage of this weakness but if there were no weakness, she would not be able to bother him in any manner. Women are very deceitful and men are naive. So the men have to keep sexual desire under control for two to four months. She will then get tired and she would not be able to control the man.
When will a woman respect you and be deferential to you? If you were very sensitive about sex, easily aroused by sexuality, then she would control you. If you are sexual but not sensitive, not easily aroused, then she will develop respect for you. If she invites you for sex and you say not now, after two to three days, then she stays under your command. Otherwise you will be under her control. I understood this at the age of fifteen. Some people beg for sex. You fool, do you have to beg for sex? What would then happen to you if you do? What will the woman do? She will abuse you. She will boss you around, 'Hold this child, and go take care of him'. Our mahatmas have sex but they do not have the craving for it.
One woman makes her husband prostrate to her four times, before she will allow him to touch her once. You fool, why don't you go jump in the ocean instead, what is wrong in doing that? Take samadhi, final peace, in the sea, at least the sea is straightforward; at least there is no hassle there. What kind of nonsense is this of prostrating for sex?
Did you know that you can follow Brahmacharya even if you are married and have kids. There are many married couples who are in Brahmacharya (Celibacy) who follow the path of Akram Vignan.
Book Name : Brahmacharya : Celibacy - Attained With Understanding (Page #88, Last Paragraph, #89, #90)