Sun 04 Jan
17:30 - 21:00
Parayan (Advanced Study) in Adalaj, India
Sat, Dec 20
to Dec 27
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Now if you both were to have an argument one night, she would
have a tanto (prolonged inner anger and turmoil). The next
morning, when serving you your tea, she would deliberately slam the
cup down on the table. This would tell you that she has not quite
recovered from the fight the night before. That verily is the link
between the argument the night before and her current state of
Why does she continue sulking? It is because she wants you under
her thumb (wrapped around her finger). If you get angry,
she will know that you have become weak, but if you don't get
angry, then she will try harder.
If, despite her continued arguing, the husband does not
get angry, then she will go into the kitchen and throw a few
utensils around to make noise… Bang…bang!! When he hears the noise
he will get upset, but if he does not, then at this point, she will
pinch their little toddler and make him cry. Then he will get
angry! "You are after our son now? Why are you bringing our son in
the middle of this?" Then she will be satisfied, "Ah ha! Now he is
Men forget events, whereas women will hold on to them
their entire lives. Men are naive, open-minded, and forgiving.They
will forget. Women on the other hand will keep reminding you of
what you said the day of the fight. Heavens! Even after
twenty years, her memory is so fresh. Your son is now twenty years
old,old enough to get married, yet she continues to hang on to that
incident. Everything except for her memory will rot! When you hurt
a woman, she will keep it in a special place in her heart, so never
hurt her. You must be very cautious in this matter.
Whenever you hurt a woman through your words, you are inviting a
liability for your future. She will tolerate you for the time being
because you are stronger than her, but later when you are weak and
all your joints are creaking, she will take her revenge, so watch
out. I have witnessed this many times over. That is why I advise
men not to fight. "You fools! Don't fight with your wives. Do not
bind any vengeance with your wives. Otherwise you will create grave
By their true nature, our women are like goddesses. The worldly
interactions defile their true nature and they become dangerous.
She has the to go into an explosive rage if instigated or hurt
excessively. Hence, the saying, "It is easy to play with
and please a woman, but when she gets angry, she is a terror." When
she gets angry she is like a lioness. We men should not
take things that far, we should know our limits. If you keep
harassing the poor woman, where will she go? That is why she gets
angry. Her response of anger varies in intensity, from mild to
When a woman is in an explosive rage, your intellect
will not help you. Your intellect will not be able to control her,
so speak to her in a manner that will not aggravate her. Keep real
love in your eyes. If at any time she says the wrong things,
remember that she is a woman and let it go. Have
complete love in one eye and in the other, maintain a little
sternness. You should live in this manner. Use the
appropriate approach. You cannot be totally strict all day long. In
one eye you maintain strictness and with the other eye view her as
a goddess. Do you understand?
Quotes by Param Pujya Dadashri: 1) Not
allowing discord even for a minute, that is true husband. Just as
the relation with a friend we do not let ruined, one should be
equally careful with the wife. Our friendship with a friend will
end if we do not protect it.
2) When is one considered to have learnt to become a
husband? It is when the wife continuously experiences veneration
(respect) for him.
Did you know :There is
a book named "Anger
"- Read on to
understand how to deal with it.
Reference: Book Name
: "Harmony in marriage"
(Page #70 and Paragraph #3).
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