Related Questions

How to deal with angry wife?


Questioner: I want to avoid conflicts, but what am I to do when someone deliberately comes to quarrel with me? 

Dadashri: If you fight with this wall, how long can you keep fighting? If you hurt your head from walking into the wall, do you start yelling and punching at it? In the same token, consider your antagonist, a wall. Is there a need to blame him? We ourselves have to understand that the other person is like a wall. By doing this, you will avoid all problems. 

Questioner: If we remain silent they become more irritated and annoyed with us and they even assume that the fault is ours. 

Dadashri: Do you think your silence has anything to do with it? If you wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and bump into the wall in the dark, does it happen because you remain silent?

Whether you speak up or remain silent has no bearing on the situation. There is no such thing as affecting a person by your silence or even by your speech. No one has the independent authority to change any situation. Everything is run by only scientific circumstantial evidences. If no one has the power, how can anything be spoiled in this world? If the wall had any power, you would too. Is it capable of confronting you? The same applies to everyone else too. Whatever account your wife has come with, she will not leave you without settling it. She is simply an instrument in settling your account. You cannot escape this. What is the point of shouting and complaining when she has no control over her speech? Therefore, become like a wall yourself. If you continue to be verbally abusive to your wife, the God within her will take note of it. On the other hand, if you become like a wall when she abuses you, the God within you will help you.

The fact that the wall collides with you is due to your own mistake. It is not the wall’s fault. People ask, “Is everyone a wall then?” Yes, they are all walls. I see this in my enlightened view of the universe and tell you the way it is. This is not a lie.

There is no difference between colliding with a wall and getting into an argument over differences in opinion with someone. It is essentially the same thing. Both are blind. A person bumps into a wall because he cannot see and a person gets into conflicts because he cannot see. The first situation the person cannot see what lies ahead of him and in the latter, he cannot find a solution ahead of him, and so he gets into disagreements. All these anger, pride, attachment, and greed arise because of inability to see what lies ahead. This is how we should understand this. It is not the fault of the wall but of the person who is hurt by it. All these are walls only. All situations are like the wall. When you clash with a wall, you do not go to find who was at fault. There is no need to prove who is right and who is wrong.

You must think of those who are clashing with you, as walls. Look for the door, so even in the darkness you will be able to find your way out of it. You need to make it a rule not to clash with anyone. You do not want conflicts with anyone. 

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