How to avoid harsh words?

If a human, would not interfere in the flow of his life, it would run very smoothly. But unfortunately that is not the case and so one does nothing but interfere constantly from the moment one wakes up.

Most people quarrel about little trivial things. For instance a woman may complain to her husband that he does not rock the baby who has been crying in the cradle. The husband makes the remark, "Did I have to rock the baby when he was in your womb? Now that he is out, you have to tend to it."

Now tell me, what would this woman do if she was not submissive?

Questioner: What do you mean when you say that one should not interfere? Does it mean that we should leave everything at home haphazard, even when there are many people in the household?

Dadashri: You should not interfere nor should you leave things haphazardly.

Questioner: How can that be possible?

Dadashri: How can you interfere? There is interference because of the ego. It is the ego's madness!

Questioner: If work needs to be done in the house, can we tell someone to do it?

Dadashri: Yes, but there are ways of saying it.

Questioner: You mean we should not become emotional while saying it?

Dadashri: At other times you even speak to him sweetly so that he understands you even before you are finished?

Questioner: What should I do about the strong and abrasive language?

Dadashri: Harsh language is itself interference! If you have harsh speech then you have to use additional words like, "I request you to ..…" or "I am asking you to please do this much." Before you go on, you have to use words like these.

Questioner: When we say, for example, "Hey, take this plate from here," or in a more gentle way …the force behind the way we say it…

Dadashri: You are only interfering when you say it with authority in your tone.

Questioner: So we must speak gently.

Dadashri: It is fine to speak in a gentle tone, but even then some people will still interfere. Instead you should say, "I am asking you to please do this much for me!" Include a few extra words.