How to manage anger in relationship?

Questioner: We take out our anger on the wife when we cannot get angry with the secretary or the nurses at the hospital. She gets the worst part of it.

Dadashri: I tell people in satsang that when their superiors reprimand some men, they vent their anger on their wives instead. So then I rebuke them and ask them why they are taking it out on their poor wives. I ask them why they do not fight with the person that scolds them instead of fighting with their wives.

All day long they are angry. Even the cows and buffaloes are better; at least they do not get angry. Life should be peaceful! It should not be feeble. Anger takes place all too often. Did you come here by car? What would happen if the car got angry on the way here?

Questioner: Then it would be impossible to come here.

Dadashri: When you get angry with your wife, how do you think she copes? (To the wife) you don't get angry, do you?

Questioner: Sometimes it happens.

Dadashri: What's the use of you both getting angry?

Questioner: But should there not be an occasional angry exchange between a husband and a wife?

Dadashri: No. There is no such law. There should be a lot of peace between a husband and a wife. If there is any hurt in a relationship, it cannot be called a husband and a wife relationship. It does not even happen between two friends and this is the highest friendship of all. It must not happen here. This is all peoples' doing. They themselves have angry exchanges in their marriage so they say that there is nothing wrong with a little anger in marriage. Anger has no place between a husband and a wife at all.