How to improve speech? How to avoid hurtful words?

Dadashri : You should not speak harshly. If someone is hurt by your words, you should tell him, 'Dear friend, I am very sorry. I made a mistake.' If it is not possible to tell him directly, then internally you must repent for having said such things.

Questioner : And we should remind ourselves repeatedly not to utter hurtful speech.

Dadashri : Yes, you should think this over and also repent for it. It will only stop through your repentance. It does not cease through words.

Questioner : What is mrudu-rujhu bhaasha?

Dadashri : Rujhu means simple and mrudu means humble. When the words are spoken with utmost humility it is called mrudu. So you should speak simply and humbly and ask for the strength to do so. If you keep doing that, you will get the strength. If your son is hurt by your harsh language you have to repent, and also tell him,' I am sorry. I will not say such things again.' This is the only way to improve the speech and 'this' is the only college.

Questioner :  So what is the difference in  katthor; tunteeli language and mrudu; rujhu language?

Dadashri :  Some people use harsh language and say things like, "You are worthless, you are wicked, you are a thief." They use words that we may have never heard before. Katthor speech can be so intense that it can even stop the heart.  Katthor speech is never pleasant. It is an egotistical speech.

Tunteeli speech will convey rivalry and obstinacy. For example a woman may say, "See how well I can cook. My cooking is exquisite and she does not even know how to cook." Tunteeli speech is very bad.

One should not use katthor and tunteeli (harsh and hurtful) speech. All faults through speech are covered by these two words. So in your spare time you should keep asking Dada Bhagwan for strength to speak  shuddha (pure),  syaadvaad (accepted by all, not hurting the ego of anyone), and mrudurujhu (simple and humble) speech.

Try It Youself:
To avoid unpleasant and hurtful speech ask for strength from the God within:
"Dearest Dada Bhagwan! Give me infinite inner strength not to speak, cause someone to speak, nor encourage anyone to speak any harsh or hurtful language towards any living being, even to the slightest extent.
If someone speaks in a harsh and hurtful language, please give me the strength to speak softly and kindly in response."

Related Spiritual Quotes by Param Pujya Dadashri: Spontaneous and natural (shajik) speech means there is not an iota of ego in it.

Glossary: Rujhu: simple, Mrudu: humble, katthor:  Harsh or callous; Tunteeli: Associated with a link of dwesh kashay,Shuddha: pure, Syaadvaad: accepted by all, not hurting the ego of anyone.

Reference : Book Name : The Essence Of All Religion (Page #17, Paragraph #5 and Page #18, Paragraph #1 to #5)