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How to control sexual desire?

Controlling sexual desire through immediate uprooting of impulses

Dadashri: Sex is the only thing that calls for vigilance. It is more than enough if sexual impulses are conquered. The impulses must be uprooted as soon as they arise, before they become thoughts of sex. Secondly, once there has been eye contact with anyone who arouses impulses of sexuality, you should immediately look away and change the inner visual link. Otherwise the sexual seedling will grow and even when it is tiny it will sow seeds for more sex. Therefore it is best to eradicate it when it is a mere sapling.

Stay as far away from the company of those who are likely to trap you in sexuality, because if you get trapped even once, you will keep on getting into trap after trap. Therefore run! You must run as far away from that person as possible.

You would not slip if you leave the place where there are chances of slipping. In satsang, there is no chance of meeting any other 'files' (people who tempt you sexually). People with the same goal of spiritual progress come together here, do they not?

Eradicate the sexual thought immediately. Do pratikraman (repentance) for any attraction of a sexual nature. With these two weapons, brahmacharya (celibacy) will remain forever.

Reference: (PDF) Brahmacharya : Celibacy- Attained With Understanding  (Page#19, 20)

Become free from sexual desire through the unique technique: The Three Vision

Dadashri: Use the same experiment that I had used for myself. For me this experiment is constantly in place and it had kept me aware even before enlightenment. When my eyes fall on someone wearing beautiful clothes, a saree worth two thousand Rupees, I become aware and my first vision see her without clothes. Then a second awareness arises and I see the body without the skin and then the third awareness arises and I see the intestines, the kind you see when the stomach is cut open. I can also see changes that occur within the intestines. I can see blood vessels; I can see fecal matter etc. I can see all the refuse this way. Then there is no chance of sexual impulse arising, is there? In all this, the Soul is the only pure thing and that is where my vision stops. Therefore, how can any illusion over sex ever occur?

Shrimad Rajchandra has said, "All the miseries come to an end if you do not get deluded and see the pure Soul (within all)." We read in scriptures that you should not become attached to women but you forget this the moment you see a woman.

This is the illusion. It is a deluded view. If this illusion leaves, this view that 'I am Chandulal (this body)', and instead the right vision of, 'I am pure Soul', takes hold then all suffering comes to an end. Then the delusion will not happen and attraction will not occur.

Questioner: When a man looks at a woman and has sexual thoughts about her, is the woman also at fault, to some extent?

Dadashri: No, the woman is not at fault at all. Lord Mahavir's appearance was such that a lot of women were attracted to him, but this did not affect the Lord. The gnan says that your actions should be with good intentions. Your dressing and conduct should be such that it does not attract the opposite sex. If your inner intents are pure then nothing can be harmed. Why did the Lord pluck all the hair on his head? He did that to avoid any sexual impulses arising in the minds of women who saw him. He had his hair removed so that they do not become a cause for ruining someone's inner intent. As it is, Lord Mahavir was very attractive. He had the most beautiful body in the whole world.

Reference: (PDF) Brahmacharya : Celibacy- Attained With Understanding  (Page#23)

Samayik (Introspection) and Pratikraman (Repentance) for dissolving sexual desire

Questioner: How do we do samayik-pratikraman for matters related to sexual indulgence and impulses?

Dadashri: You have to do pratikram for all the mistakes that have occurred until today and make a firm decision not to repeat those mistakes in the future.

Questioner: What if we keep seeing the same mistakes over and over, when doing samayik (introspection)?

Dadashri: Ask for forgiveness as long as you keep seeing mistakes. Ask for forgiveness, repent and do pratikraman.

Questioner: Just now when I sat in the samayik, why did I keep seeing the same things over and over again?

Dadashri: As long as those atoms are still there within you, that will happen. But why should that be a problem for us?

Questioner: Does it mean that they keep coming because they have not been cleansed properly?

Dadashri: No. That stock is there and will remain for a very long time. It will remain for about ten years, but you have to persevere in order to remove it all.

Questioner: This science of uprooting the two-leaf sapling of sexual thought, is it such that on doing this sincerely one will win and attain lasting brahmacharya?

Dadashri: Yes, but sex is such a thing that if you get involved in it, you will lose the awareness of the Self. Therefore, this tuber is harmful. When the tuber of sexuality sprouts the result is the sexual impulse, and it is like a two leaf sapling.

Generally the impulse is so strong that one becomes engrossed in it, becomes one with it. This engrossment is called vishaya. It cannot be called vishaya, without being engrossed in it. There should be so much awareness, when this tuber sprouts as a sapling of sexual impulse, that if you uproot and discard it, just like discarding the thought as soon it arises, you would not become engrossed in it. Then it will not touch you. Then the tuber still exists and may sprout again and again when the circumstances are right. When the tuber is finally gone, dissolved, no impulses of sexuality will arise within, and your goal of brahmacharya will be attained. 

Reference: (PDF) Brahmacharya: Celibacy- Attained With Understanding (Page # 32-34)

Glossary: Brahmacharya: Celibacy (Absolute freedom form sexual impulses through mind-speech-body) 
Samayik:Introspection    

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